I'm married but have always been bi-curious and now fancy a guy from my gym

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE been bi-curious since my teens but I never acted on these feelings before now.

Since I’ve joined a gym to get fit I have fallen for a guy who always goes there at the same time as me.

We have kissed and pleasured one another in the changing room when there was no one around. It was a revelation to me as I am a married man of 36 with two small daughters.

I love my wife and we have a good relationship but I keep fantasising about a life with him.

He’s about my age and I guessed he was gay as soon as we met. I could tell by the way he looked at me somehow.

We chatted a lot and he admitted he really liked me.

Now he says we should stop what we’ve been doing as he is becoming emotionally involved with me. He says he wants to be friends but no more. Yet I can’t get him out of my mind.

I feel so guilty when I get home and realise how much I love my wife and family.

I could not hurt my wife but, as things are, I am hurting myself all the time – especially as the guy I love is backing off.

DEIDRE SAYS: Unless you are ready to face up to the pain and heartbreak of breaking up your marriage and family, respect this guy’s feelings and accept he is backing off. He stands to get hurt as things are.

Most of us in committed relationships meet other people we desire at some point and have to make a choice.

If you realise your feelings really are too strong to resist, even at the risk of breaking up your family, my e-leaflet on Bisexual Issues will help you think this through.

Also, talk to Switchboard LGBT (switchboard.lgbt, 0300 330 0630).

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