Is life in plastic really fantastic? #Auspol Barbies, please stop
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It seems social media interns all over the country are racing each other to kill Barbie.
The film hasn’t even been in cinemas for a week, but it’s already over thanks to the deluge of eye-watering posts, including one from ambassador to the US Kevin Rudd (“He’s just Kevin,” referencing the Barbie line, “He’s just Ken”) and a now-deleted clanger from NSW Police (“this Barbie is serving the community”).
The chair of the Australian Energy Market Commission, Anna Collyer, has also weighed in, posting an eco-warrior Barbie take on AEMC’s website, headlined: “You can be anything – Barbie’s power quest.”
Victorian senator Jana Stewart spotted an opportunity and mocked up an Aged Care Barbie, who is getting a pay rise thanks to Albo. The Greens had a darker take, posting a photo of a bald Barbie with a melting face to repeat the party line on an end to gas and coal.
Illustration: Joe Benke Credit:
There’s been plenty of taxpayer-funded Mattel promotion from government agencies too. The nation’s statisticians tallied the number of Australians with the same professions as Barbie and her current movie rival, J. Robert Oppenheimer. Suffice to say Barbie was much more versatile in the career department. The Therapeutic Goods Administration used a photo of three Barbies to remind “consumers to steer clear of products containing ‘melanotan’.”
Not even heritage-listed status is enough to protect you from the pink storm. The Sydney Harbour Bridge became tainted over the weekend, with NSW Premier Chris Minns proclaiming: “This Barbie is a Sydney icon we’d never sell off.”
Notably absent from the discussion was Julie Bishop, who was given her own Barbie in 2021 as part of Mattel’s trailblazer series. Where you might expect a dash of pink, Bishop’s latest socials are all runs and speeches.
CBD enjoyed the movie as much as anyone else, but it’s time to stop the bedazzled conga line of cringe.
SURGEONS FACE CUTS
The finances of Australia’s surgical class are on life support, and without emergency intervention, the industry body is warning things could get dicey. That’s the diagnosis from Royal Australasian College of Surgeons president Kerin Fielding and vice-president Owen Ung, who sent a mea culpa to members this month.
The college’s costs are rocketing, and income from training fees has not kept pace, meaning drastic change is needed to “ensure the ongoing solvency of the college”.
It has reported two successive deficits of more than $10 million, according to the letter seen by CBD, and its assets are tied up in property – triggering a “careful investigation” to refill the coffers.
“Essentially the college has been living beyond its means, not through extravagance, but through not retrieving the true costs of education and training,” the letter said.
“We apologise for any missteps in operational management and oversight that have led us to this point.”
They’re now calling in the reinforcements, appointing Barwon Health director Shane Solomon, KPMG partner Souella Cumming, Australian Institute of Company Directors lecturer Nic Carr, and ASX-listed-company director John Craven to a “recovery committee”.
“We apologise for any missteps in operational management and oversight that have led us to this point.”
The team will host a webinar for members in August. Some surgeons are privately worried about fee hikes and baying for blood. Let’s hope this recovery is without complications.
POOL-BARRELLING
Victoria’s hosting of the Commonwealth Games was going to make a splash in regional towns that were promised investment in high-end sports infrastructure.
The keen flippers of Armstrong Creek and neighbouring communities were set to be left with a 25-metre pool after the 2026 Games concluded.
But locals say there are already plenty of places to cool off in the region – with the $30 million 50-metre Leisurelink Pool at Waurn Ponds, and three other aquatic centres (planned or built) nearby – across Torquay, Norlane and Drysdale.
You could be forgiven for wondering, why the need for more? Premier Daniel Andrews said in February that the state government’s vision was for the Games to be “predominantly a regional Victorian event” through building infrastructure to create a lasting legacy for regional communities. And, if the northern hemisphere’s record-breaking heatwave is anything to go by, the more watering holes, the better.
But could it have something to do with Armstrong Creek’s location in the electorate of South Barwon? Labor MP Darren Cheeseman held the seat by a margin of just 3 per cent before the state election last year, and it was one the Liberals needed to win if the Coalition hoped to return to power.
NO MORE NEWS
Journalists were perplexed to arrive at The Australian’s Sydney newsroom last week to find red signs plastered on the walls outlining changes to the hard-copy newspaper selection.
“Effective immediately, the Mailroom will no longer be supplying the Sydney Morning Herald and the Financial Review for general distribution,” the signs said.
“Should you wish to receive a copy of either/both, please submit an email request with your manager’s approval and we will happily organise a subscription for you. We apologise for any inconvenience.”
Word among staff is they’ll be asked to pay for their own access and only the “chosen ones” will get access free, one source said. Is it cost-cutting? Axing the competition? Another sign of the death of the office? Hard to tell.
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