I was sexually abused by my cousin from age 6 after he tricked me with sick game – I spent years fearing I was pregnant

WHEN her cousin asked her to play a game of Truth or Dare while they were hanging out in her bedroom, Lauren Koshak didn't hesitate in saying yes.

Then just six years old, she was close to her mum's nephew – Andrew Wardach – as the two families spent a lot of time together.


When his "truth" questions became tricky, she asked for a dare – and what happened next changed Lauren's life forever.

It kickstarted a harrowing eight years of sexual abuse, at the hands of a person she once trusted completely.

The ordeal haunted her for decades, causing her to spiral into alcohol addiction in her teens, until one day in August 2016, when she received a phone call telling her Wardach had died in a house fire.

Only after hearing that news did Lauren, now 32, from Virginia, finally feel able to put her past behind her and move on.

Waiving her right to anonymity, she told The Sun: "When Andrew died that day, I started to live again.

"Now I’m married and a mum, and I'm so thankful for what I have – I’ve never been happier and more content.”

Lauren remembers the sexual abuse she endured like it was yesterday.

Her mum Marcia and her aunt, Wardach’s mum, were particularly close, and so too were their children.

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“Andrew was two years older than me and he was my go-to friend,” says Lauren.

“We were always hanging out together and I thought he was fun and cool.

“The day he came into my room was like any other. I’d heard of the game Truth and Dare and it sounded like it would be fun to play.

“I just remember not liking his ‘truth’ questions and so I asked for a dare. He dared me to touch his private parts, and even though I knew it wasn’t right, I did it anyway.

“I remember thinking that this was a secret and I knew people would be mad with me, so I didn’t share it with anyone. I just didn’t like it.”

Nightmares

After that Wardach regularly abused her, in her home or his, or at their grandparents'. It nearly always started with a game of Truth or Dare.

By the time she was nine Lauren was suffering horrific nightmares and had trouble falling and staying asleep, but still couldn’t tell anyone.

The severity of the sexual abuse progressed quickly from inappropriate touching to penetration.

I hated it, but I didn’t know how I was going to stop it

“I’m not sure how old I was when we had sex, but I wasn’t very old because I hadn’t started my periods yet,” recalls Lauren.

“I hated it, but I didn’t know how I was going to stop it.

“He was bold – it didn’t matter where we were. I hated night time, even when he wasn’t in the house. After I started my periods we didn’t have intercourse – everything was touching or oral.

“I suffered from severe anxiety – I started to pull my hair out and make my scalp bleed and I had chronic inflammation of the stomach lining, all stress-related.

“I longed for things to go back to how they were when I was six, except I knew that nothing would ever be normal again.”


Pregnancy scare

The last time it happened was when Lauren was 14. For the first time Wardach had been mean and aggressive and she wasn’t used to this side of him.

The way she had coped all those years was the thought that he cared for her – but then he was a different person, and her illusions were shattered.

She was also terrified she might be pregnant, so she plucked up the courage to speak out.

“I remember about a week later, I went to speak to mum,” says Lauren.

Andrew told her that I was the instigator and my revelation caused a huge family bust-up – I never saw my aunt again

“I was so afraid of him and the thoughts of pregnancy.

“I told her that I needed to talk to her and she asked me why. I said it was because Andrew had been making me do stuff.

"She asked me what kind of stuff and she went quiet. She called my aunt – I never saw my aunt again after that.

"Andrew told her that I was the instigator and my revelation caused a huge family bust-up.

“My mum and my dad Bob were incredibly supportive – they believed me and took me to the police station to make a statement. It was horrible, but I knew it was the right thing to do.”

Jailed

Wardach was arrested and he eventually spent two years in prison.

By this time, Lauren had started drinking. She had a good friend whose mum was always out of town working, so the girls would go to her house after school and drink.

“I remember the first time I got drunk, I felt great and I loved how alcohol eased my mind – numbed it, more like,” recalls Lauren.

“It was a good plaster for a very deep-rooted problem.

“I would steal booze from my parents and do shots. I began to rely on booze and my whole life was planned around drinking.

“When I left college, I joined the yoga circle at the local brewery, the volley team based in a pub, and I was always drinking with work colleagues.

"I could never regulate myself – I didn’t see the point of drinking unless I was blackout drunk.

“I was haunted by what had happened and for me, this was the best way to forget it all.”

Tragic death

During this time, Lauren's oldest brother took an overdose just before his 35th birthday. Instead of his death being a wake-up call, she started to smoke marijuana.

In March 2013, Lauren met her husband Justin in a bar in north Michigan. Together they spent weekends drinking, but it wasn’t until he asked her to marry him in July 2014 that Lauren told him about Wardach.

“I thought I needed to tell him why certain members of my family wouldn’t be at our wedding,” says Lauren.

“He was very supportive of me. I felt better for telling him.

“We married in a courthouse when I was six months pregnant with our son Elijah, then we had a big ceremony with friends and family in August 2015 when he was six months old.

“When I had my son I wanted to be better. I wanted to stop drinking and while I did cut down, I was still haunted by Andrew.”

Turning point

Lauren’s turning point came on August 9th 2016, when her mum called to say that there had been a fire at her aunt's house – and that Wardach had died in the blaze.

“I ran into the bathroom and threw up,” recalls Lauren.

“Then I had a panic attack and told Justin that my bad cousin had died – I had obviously not been prepared for such news.

I felt safer than I’d ever felt. It felt good to know he was gone and he couldn’t hurt anyone else

“After the initial shock, I felt free for the first time that I could remember.

"I had more therapy. I felt safer than I’d ever felt. It felt good to know he was gone and couldn’t hurt anyone else.”

In January 2020, after a particularly long drinking session with friends, Lauren spent the next day horribly sick.

Hearing her husband and son playing while she nursed a hangover was her lightbulb moment. She has not touched a drink since and she has swapped bars for books and hiking.

Lauren has been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, ADHD, depression and anxiety, but has managed to control it with dramatic lifestyle changes.

On August 9th last year – five years to the day Wardach died – she gave birth to her second child, Theo.

“I am in bed by 9pm now,’ she laughs.

“I don’t need to drink. I’m no longer haunted by my childhood. I am living the life I always dreamed about with my husband and my kids."




How you can get help

Whenever it happened to you, it’s never too late to get support.

If you’ve ever experienced sexual violence or sexual abuse, you can get confidential support from specialists who will listen to you, believe you and understand how hard it is to talk about.

As a victim, you’re entitled to support whether you report the crime or not.

Your rights are set out in full in the Victims’ Code.

Visit gov.uk/sexualabusesupport to see the support on offer.

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