Vanderpump Rules' Ariana Madix admits she suffered suicidal thoughts during dark depression battle

VANDERPUMP Rules star Ariana Madix had suicidal thoughts and thought about driving her car off the edge of a freeway.

The 34-year-old reality television star revealed her struggle with depression on Tuesday's Vanderpump Rules.

Speaking to Lisa Vanderpump at her home, Ariana confessed she felt despair and contemplated taking her own life.

Lisa empathised as she talked about her own battle with depression after her brother's suicide death in 2018.

"Having been through chronic depression myself, though mine was more circumstantial. Losing my brother, I just didn't do well at all. I was such a mess," Lisa told her.

She added: "I was trying to hold everything together. And I just wasn't doing a good job at all. I started to have really dark thoughts. And I think because of my brother's suicide."

Ariana replied that her own suicidal thoughts had alarmed her.

"That worries me," she said, "Because I feel like I always thought that was so far out of the realm of anything I would ever do, but three weeks ago, I remember driving my car on the freeway and thinking, 'What if just drove it off the edge?' How is that a real thought?"

She told Lisa of her concern that it would affect her relationship.

"I don't want to drag Tom [Sandoval, longtime boyfriend] into my bulls**t," she said.

"I don't think that is bulls**t!" Lisa reassured her.

"There is an underlying feeling of despair sometimes," said Ariana.

Lisa then offered to give her a bartending job at her restaurant SUR to distract herself and help bring her out of her depression.

Vanderpump Rules airs on Bravo on Tuesdays.

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