Leslie Ann Horgan: 'I've uncovered a secret sect of 'uncool' TV fanatics'

A few weeks ago, I wrote about Dancing With The Stars in this column. How I wish now that I’d taken the time to include my long-predicted victory for Mairead Ronan – is there anything worse than a missed opportunity for gloating? Anyway, in the days following the publication of the piece, something strange began to happen. In moments when I was alone, friends, family members and colleagues started to sidle up to me, quietly seeking my confidence.

With tones dropped to a conspiratorial low, people of all ages and genders would glance furtively around the room as they revealed that they’d read the article. Some left it at just that bald statement – shooting me a knowing look before scurrying away. Most would go on to reveal that they, too, were watching DWTS, before telling me why they wholeheartedly agreed or disagreed with my thesis.

If I didn’t already know it, the covert nature of the conversations left me in no doubt that spending your Sunday evening watching a bunch of RTE personalities ballroom dancing in Bray is not considered cool – even by those who’ve spent the past three months doing so.

There generally followed a few minutes’ discussion of the show, and who was most likely to win – I said Mairead every time, I swear (#gloating). As we chatted, the people would visibly relax, eager to discuss jives and foxtrots and glittering costumes now that they knew they weren’t being judged for their taste in TV. The first time this happened I thought nothing of it, but by the 10th, I was starting to consider myself to be the official DWTS confessor.

The most curious thing about this whole experience was that people were keen to talk, not just about DWTS, but about all of their other televisual guilty pleasures. I learned that people are watching Dancing On Ice, Ireland’s Got Talent and Celebrity Globetrotters – and some were even looking forward to Marty & Bernard’s Big Adventure. One programme in particular was mentioned more than any other, but we’ll come back to that. I felt as though I’d uncovered a new secretive subculture of light-entertainment watchers. Masked and robed, they worship at the altar of the late, great deity Bruce Forsyth.

The era of streaming may have lessened the potential for true watercooler moments, but whether it’s on Netflix, Amazon, RTE or the Channel 4 player, we still spend a lot of time talking about the television shows that we watch. Asking someone whether they’re looking forward to the Game Of Thrones finale or what series of Ozark they’re on is what passes for an ice breaker in 2019.

However, I had never noticed before this how heavily filtered these conversations are. It’s the ‘cool’ shows that we talk about – the ones that push the envelope on drama or violence or downright weirdness. The ones that spawn trends and memes and ranges of merchandise.

But are they what we’re really watching? Are the audiences for Black Mirror and Russian Doll completely separate to the viewers of Bake Off and Grand Designs? Are people coming home after a long day at work to lose themselves in The Ted Bundy Tapes or Gilmore Girls? Which of your friends is secretly enjoying Daniel And Majella’s USA Road Trip?

And, based on what has been confessed to me over the past few weeks, what is the one programme that everyone is truly bingeing on?

The answer, it seems, is The Chase. Yes, that moderately challenging, occasionally exciting and oddly addictive quiz show currently showing in the afternoon on Virgin Media One and most of the evening on Challenge. From what I’ve heard, everyone is watching it, everyone has a favourite chaser (personally, I’m Team Governess) and everyone would take one step closer to the chaser and go for the big money if they were a contestant.

One person even revealed that they have a bit of a soft spot for the quiz show’s cheeky happy host Bradley Walsh… Perhaps some things are better left unsaid.

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