Ambitions Premiere: Has Stephanie Finally Met Her Match? (Grade It!)

The midseason premiere of OWN’s Ambitions may not have solved the finale’s biggest cliffhanger mystery (who shot Senior?!), but it did introduce a hell of a sparring partner for Stephanie Lancaster — and isn’t that just as satisfying?

Stephanie’s first confrontation — her warm-up, if you will — came courtesy of Amara, who believed every word of Titus’ story about Stephanie’s attempted seduction. “When did you become so desperate, stripping down to your undies in the hotel room of a married man who obviously doesn’t want you?” Amara asked, sending Stephanie into a cackling fit. After warning her old frenemy not to come after her, she dropped this chilling exit line: “The grave you’re digging for Stephanie Lancaster will be the one you rot in!” (A death threat and a third-person reference in the same sentence? Stephanie is not playing around.)

Then came the main event: Looking for answers about Senior’s shooting, Stephanie visited Greg Peters’ apartment, only to encounter his “Eurotrash bitch” cousin Natasha. (Because of course her name is Natasha.) Anyway, this lady is bats–t with a capital “B” and “S.” After making her dramatic entrance via the world’s longest staircase, she addressed Stephanie as “the piece of black ass that’s had [Greg] so distracted. A little skinny for my taste, but to each his… or her own.”

But wait, it gets crazier! “Tell me, does [Greg] still do that trick where it feels like he’s tying your clitoris into a knot with his tongue?” Natasha asked. No, that wasn’t a typo. This really was a question asked by Natasha, suggesting that she and Greg are a lot more than just kissing cousins. (Though, for the record, even kissing would be too far.) Fortunately, Stephanie is the Hallmark of smack-talk, so she was ready with a sassy retort for this very specific occasion: “Perhaps if you spent a little more time at the gym, you’d have suitors outside your family tree.” Yes, Stephanie! Burn. Her. Alive.

Elsewhere in the episode…

MILLION DOLLAR BABY | Upon realizing that Joaquin had been kidnapped, Bella turned to Evan to brainstorm potential suspects. Despite her recent disagreement with Roderick (“He sent me a cake with the word ‘whore’ spelled out in icing,” she recalled), Bella refused to even think he might be involved. And she was right, though she’ll probably feel just as betrayed when she discovers that her “friend” Perla is the one demanding $1 million for the safe return of her son.

DEAD OR ALIVE? | Tuesday’s premiere wasn’t all bad news. Remember Daphne, whose corpse Evan discovered during one of their scheduled BDSM sessions? She’s actually alive! (That said, her days could still be numbered, as Natasha nearly finished her off by disguising herself as a nurse at the hospital.) Personally, I loved when Evan assured her, “I always look out for my people.” Has anyone else lost track of the number of women Stephanie’s husband is sleeping with?

Your thoughts on the return of Ambitions? Grade the midseason premiere below, then drop a comment with your full review of the episode.

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