40 Questions We Still Have About the 'Christmas Prince' Movies
Everyone loves a Christmas movie — especially one that is cheesy, over-the-top, damn near implausible in every way. The way I see it, good Christmas movies, like the kind found on Netflix, Freeform, and Hallmark, are like good horror movies. You have to suspend belief that normal human beings would act in the manner that the characters act in order to make the experience enjoyable. Like, no, if a killer were chasing you, you would not go in the only room with no exit to the outside. And no, if you were a journalist, you would not sneak into the palace of a small European country and pretend to be the princess’ tutor in order to get a scoop (unless you want to end up in a jail in that small European country).
A Christmas Prince is a very popular film on Netflix — so popular that, according to Netflix, 53 people watched it for 18 days straight in 2017. There are two sequels that people are also obsessed with, and up until recently, I hadn’t seen any of them. But with the release of A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby on Netflix, I took it upon myself to give the franchise a shot, watching all three in one day. Are they kinda stupid? Absolutely. Are they entertaining? Mostly. In the spirit of the hard-hitting investigative journalist that Queen Amber Moore of New York wanted to do (and still does, monarchy rules be damned), here are all the supremely strange, unbelievable, and otherwise dumb moments that I noticed in all the Christmas Prince movies.
#1: A Christmas Prince
The hierarchy in Amber’s office is confusing
Writers usually strive to be editors, not the other way around. Amber dreams of being a writer, but if she’s editing other writers’ pieces, isn’t she an editor and thus already on top? Is she a copy editor? She says she wants to do real journalism… As a writer, I have follow up questions.
Takeaways from #AChristmasPrince:
– I hated it so much
– I can’t wait for the sequel
– You bet your ass I’m watching it again before Christmas
Publications have no money
This might be very industry specific for a lot of folks, but no magazine is sending a random reporter to a faraway country when they probably have a freelancer already there that they won’t have to front the airfare for. What do you think they are, made of money?
There is no full dinner in New York City that costs $4.95
Is Amber getting a family discount on her dinner in the first movie? In New York, the coffee costs $4.95. We’re setting unreliable expectations here.
Prince Richard needs better handlers
Royal pressers are so tightly controlled that everyone would know who is showing up and where – Richard couldn’t just surprise ghost the Aldovian press corps.
Where is all the planning for the coronation?
Coronations take literal years to put together, so the fact that everyone is so cool with Richard just waltzing in to put the crown on is not realistic at all.
Why is everyone British?
Was Aldovia a part of the British Empire? Did they have a war of independence? Everyone has a British accent.
Is Aldovia next door to Genovia? #AChristmasPrince #Netflix
Amber needs a personal shopper
Yes, the Chuck Taylors are her “thing,” but if you’re sending me to a far-off nation to cover something big like Richard’s coronation or whatever, you can bet I’m hitting Rent The Runway or Bergdorfs (and keeping the tags on) so I can look like I know what I’m doing.
The security at the castle is incredibly lax
How can someone just wander into the castle? And pose as a tutor? This actually has happened before, to Queen Elizabeth II, and it was a big thing.
Amber needs to turn her phone noises off
The person who’s supposed to be undercover as a tutor for Princess Emily is so stealth that she leaves the shutter sound on her phone on when she’s snapping photos of the royal family to send back to her job.
Her computer skills are also lacking
First of all, Amber’s notes are a hilarious, stream-of-consciousness mess, but also, she left her unlocked computer with all of her secrets with Emily when she went to the bathroom? You in danger, girl.
The parties are so janky
I know this is for a movie and not for the real royals, but they couldn’t get better party-goers out of central casting?
They ripped off Beauty And The Beast
Amber gets attacked by wolves in the woods, and before you know it, Richard is going to pan her from the West Wing.
Richard wanders too much
Again, these guys are royal, and royal protocol means Richard has security with him all. The. time. He wouldn’t be allowed to sneak to New York to propose to Amber alone, and also, how is no one going to notice him? Do you know how many people are in the streets on New Year’s Eve in NYC?
Poor Kate Middleton
Kate had to wait ten years for William to marry her, and Amber had to wait ten minutes.
#2: A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding
What happened to the original dad?
Amber’s dad, Rudy, is different. They make a crack at it, with him saying the Aldovian air makes him feel like a new man, but…. I want to know where Rudy 1.0 went.
Amber’s blog would be shut down, hello
Um, Meghan Markle wasn’t allowed to keep her blog, The Tig, so how on Earth is Amber still tip-tip-typing away on her Geocities page?
Me trying to explain my job to my family at Christmas #AChristmasPrince2 pic.twitter.com/TbHX95SvvY
Again, where is Amber’s security?
Maybe I just watch the British royals too much, but I can’t imagine that the Aldovian royals are roving Christmas markets and doing speeches and being public figures that close to the public. They’d be trampled!
LOL @ Amber thinking sunglasses are disguise
One more film in, and she’s still so stealth.
This Sahil character is racist and homophobic.
Wow, killing two birds with one stone with this over-the-top cariacature of a gay Indian wedding planner.
Richard’s teleprompters are tiny
Actually, is that just an iPad that someone’s propped up?
Of course there’s a cryptocurrency plan
Most people don’t get cryptocurrency (including me), so it’s the perfect plot device for a movie that doesn’t make that much sense to begin with.
Why is Sahil bossing everyone around?
Amber and the other royals make the rules.
Why are they just planning the wedding now?
Much like the coronation, these things are planned for months and years. It’s not a “well, let’s throw this together” kind of moment. And her hen party is three days ahead of time? No.
Of course Princess Emily is a hacker
Everyone under the age of 15 is a hacker in Hollywood.
Simon is too much
Yeah, he helped save the day or whatever, but do we really need to see him again?
Y’all #AChristmasPrinceTheRoyalWedding is total garbage. I’ll probably watch it like ten more times.
#3: A Christmas Prince: The Royal Baby
How does Amber still have a blog?
This is still a Meghan Markle reference, but there’s no way Amber would still be allowed to write on this site that is not already approved by the rest of the royals. There. Is. No. Way.
Melissa… And Simon?
Damn, I guess Simon really is here to stay. That’s a bummer.
Amber’s birth plan is… interesting
Honestly, I don’t trust this woman to make a birth plan, because I’ve seen her computer notes and she doesn’t seem like she can string sentences together.
Rudy is back for more
At least it’s the same actor in round 3.
All the respect for the donut cravings
I wonder where Amber gets the donuts though… are there shops in Aldovia that mimic American donut shops?
Maybe avoid the horse-drawn sleighs
Is a bumpy ride in the snow a good thing for a woman who’s basically supposed to be on bedrest?
The family needs to butt out of that sonogram room, OMG
I would kill if my husband’s entire family barged into a doctor’s office to see me spread eagle on a table.
Amber has no chill
Like, listen. I get that she’s all for equality and stuff, but when Amber was told that the Penglian people were pretty traditional and she should dial it back, why can’t she listen? That’s literally what diplomacy is, Amber. Get it together. All of this is her fault.
Simon is … still here
And he’s the asshole that’s ignoring his girlfriend… and then showering her with love. It’s too much, and I can’t believe Melissa is going to marry him.
Curses aren’t real
Just leaving this here.
Why are their Christmases so packed?
Can’t the Aldovians have babies or get married or sign treaties in June?
The bagel struggle is real
Totally get Amber asking Rudy to bring her bagels.
This is Buddy the Elf’s baby shower
It’s not elegant… it’s covered in paper snowflakes. Did they whittle something out of a rocking chair, too?
Why is a horse the easiest way to fetch a doctor from a snowbank?
Maybe they don’t have snow chains on their tires in Aldovia.
Amber is still fighting the patriarchy
She has to be camera-ready two minutes after birth, just like Kate Middleton. And the man persists to hold us down.
2017: A Christmas Prince
2018: The Royal Wedding
2019: The Royal Baby
2020: The Royal Twins
2020: The Royal Dog
2020: The Royal We
2021: The Royal Affair
2022: The Royal Couples Counseling
2023: The Royal Divorce
OK, so who’s ready for A Christmas Prince 4?
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