Woman who had sex every week shares why she went celibate for a year

A woman has shared how she went from sleeping with somebody every week to staying celibate for a year.

Brenda Osorno, 30, stopped having sex for the whole of 2022 so she could concentrate on her own wellbeing.

Before this, the Florida native would go on up to three dates a week and had a rotation of two or three so-called ‘special friends’ who she would sleep with.

She decided to give celibacy a go after breaking up with a man who was unwilling to commit.

Brenda started breaking away from old habits, filling her time by trying out a new activity every day for a month.

She tried her hand at boxing, pole dancing, basketball and standup comedy.

When 30 days were up, she felt so good that she carried on with what she calls her ‘Mother Theresa stint.’

As she threw herself into other activities, she said the months started to ‘fly by.’

Although she admitted to having ‘kissed three guys’ over the past 12 months, she celebrated going a year celibate in January 2023.

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Brenda says the experience has helped her to grow in confidence and discover a sense of her own identity.

‘Celibacy gave me the confidence to try new things,’ Brenda explained.

‘I had gotten tired of the hookup culture that exists among a lot of people in their 20s.

‘I used to be a serial online dater. I was working long hours, so dating was my outlet. But outside of my job and dating I didn’t really have a sense of my identity.’

The turning point came when a short-term fling wouldn’t make a long-term commitment.

‘At first, I was so infatuated with this guy that I pretended I was okay with keeping our relationship casual,’ she said.

‘But the new year came around and I thought, hey, let me take a step back here and work out what I really want.’

While taking a vacation in Mexico, Brenda started to ‘look inwards’ and take stock of what she wanted in her life.

‘At the time I was drinking a lot, not feeling fully confident in my own body and generally not leading a healthy lifestyle,’ she said.

When she returned from vacation in April 2022, she had been celibate for three months.

She added: ‘It was a month until my 30th birthday, so I decided to commit myself to trying something new every day and seeing what’s out there beyond dating.

‘After my birthday, I felt great so I just kept going. I started filling my schedule with activities rather than thinking about dating – it was a form of self-therapy,’ she said.

‘I carried on working out and started connecting with other women online who were doing the same thing, and the time started to fly by.

‘Once I’d made it to six months without having sex, I thought, “wow – this is the same girl who used to go on two to three dates a week!”‘

Brenda said that going celibate has given her a new lease on life.

‘By taking care of myself and remaining celibate, I started to work out what I wanted to do with my life,’ she explained.

‘I realised that I used to go on dates to validate myself.

‘When I’m in a relationship I have a tendency to let myself go and become completely wrapped up in the other person. But going celibate made me feel like no one could hold me back. Now I don’t have to answer to anyone other than myself and my mum.’

In January, Brenda celebrated going celibate for a year. But despite all the positives that celibacy has brought, Brenda said there have been some tricky moments.

‘It was very difficult at times because I couldn’t help but fantasise about the last person I had been intimate with,’ she said.

‘There were some nights where I just couldn’t get him out of my head.’

However, she said the fulfilment she has gained from remaining celibate is better than ‘hitting up a random person for a quick moment of satisfaction.’

Going forward, Brenda will remain celibate and wants to wait for that ‘special’ person.

‘I think I’m going to maintain it for the time being, but if I meet someone and the vibe is right, I’d consider it,’ she said.

‘I’m not trying to think of it as uber-holy because I did a year. But equally, I don’t want to be scared of it next time. I’ll just try to hold off until I find someone special.

‘I think more people should try celibacy. You don’t need to go a full year, but it’s nice to try to restrict yourself.

‘Celibacy has given me a way to pursue other interests than dating and to focus on myself for a change.’

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