NYC takes ‘brain biopsy’ COVID-19 test out of regular rotation

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New Yorkers who complained about the “brain biopsy” feeling of the coronavirus nasal swab, rejoice: NYC Health + Hospitals has taken the most uncomfortable version of the test out of regular rotation. 

A representative for the health-care network confirmed to The Post that the intrusive nasopharyngeal swabs are no longer routinely used at the system’s testing sites, although they’re still in the supply chain at some locations.

Most of those tested at NYC Health + Hospitals’ centers can instead expect to receive the far more pleasant anterior nares test, where only a ½ inch to ¾ inches of the swab is inserted into each nostril, for approximately 15 seconds, according to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention guidelines.

While people can perform anterior nares tests on themselves, nasopharyngeal tests must be performed by trained health-care personnel and are inserted until the swab makes contact with the upper part of the throat (the nasopharynx), the equivalent distance “from the nostril to the ear of the patient,” according to CDC specimen collection instructions.

“NYC Health + Hospitals uses both anterior nares and nasopharyngeal testing,” the spokesperson emphasized, concerned that patients, anticipating a shnoz poke, could be shocked to instead receive a “brain tickler,” although the latter is now a far less likely possibility. 

While the nasopharyngeal test is slightly more accurate than the anterior nares test, “After validation, we found that both testing methods have similar efficacy,” the rep said. “Offering both testing options allows us to get equivalent results and provides comfort to our patients.”

The decision to remove the longer swabs from regular rotation was in response to patient complaints as well as supply chain nuances, the rep confirmed. 

In addition to feeling like “being stabbed in the brain,” the more invasive swab makes recipients cough, gag and spray health-care workers with germs. The less invasive test means nurses don’t have to change their contaminated masks, gowns and gloves as frequently, as patients aren’t spraying them with contamination as often, Fast Company reported.

Meanwhile, as a rather inexplicable kink, some folks wish COVID tests went even deeper.

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