My hubby can't get aroused and refuses to take his Viagra – it's making me depressed

We’ve been together for 25 years. I’m 48 and he’s 61. We had a great sex life but then he started to get erection problems. He was prescribed Viagra but he refuses to take it.

He won’t go near me sexually now but he does give me kisses and cuddles and tells me he loves me.

It’s been a year now and I don’t know how much longer I can go on without the intimate and sexual side of our marriage. It makes me feel worthless and ugly, and frightened our marriage is over for good.

I’ve asked him why he is being so selfish like this.

He says that he doesn’t know and I’m wondering now if he cares.

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sure he does care and I’m sure that he’s hurting as well.

He may not quite realise how desperate you feel about this and just how much you are missing the physical side of your marriage with him.

My e-leaflet on Solving Erection Problems can help you enjoy one another sexually without him relying on medication – which can have side-effects he may find unpleasant.

If you feel that you’re not getting through to him it could help you both to see a Relate counsellor together, as it’s a safe place to share how you both really feel (relate.org.uk).

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