My handsome husband has been cheating on me – but I'm yet to tell him I know
DEAR DEIDRE: MY gorgeous husband has been cheating on me for the past six years and I don’t know what to do.
I’m 64 and he’s a handsome 60-year-old. Many women say he looks like Kevin Costner.
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I’ve always had to link his arm at events so people know he is taken, and women seem to fall for his charms.
I was pretty back in the day but now I feel my face has given in to my age.
My husband is a hotel manager and one of my best friends works at the same place as a housekeeper.
I’d been feeling down lately and our sex life was not as good as it has been.
I confided in her and told her that I was feeling old and unattractive. She reassured me that my husband adored me.
But a few weeks ago, she came to see me looking really upset. She said: “Maggie, I feel terrible coming around like this but I have to tell you Jeff has been having an affair.”
She went on to tell me that rumours had been rife for years about him having a fling with the head receptionist, but she never believed it.
She said she’d gone up to the penthouse the week before to check it was clean for some guests and caught my husband in bed with this woman.
My friend was horrified and backed out of the room.
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My husband talked to her later, begging her not to tell me, but she couldn’t carry on as normal without me knowing the truth.
My husband has clocked that something’s wrong. He went to cuddle me last night and I shoved him off and went out to the garden.
I ended up sobbing in the greenhouse. I’m scared that if I confront him, he’ll leave me.
DEIDRE SAYS: You cannot go on like this.
Not having it out with him will make you miserable and you don’t deserve that. You've done nothing wrong.
Find a moment to tell him that you have found out about his affair.
Ask him why you are not enough for him. Do you not spend enough time together? How can you spice up your flagging sex life?
After so long together, I understand you don’t want to break up.
Explain that you want your marriage to survive, but it’s hard to see how you can if he’s not telling you the truth. Let this be the start of you being more assertive so that he’s not walking all over you.
My support packs Standing Up For Yourself and Relationship MOT will be helpful to you.
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