‘My glass sex toy helped catch man who burgled house – it was mortifying’
Burglars will often root through their victims’ bedroom drawers, in case there’s jewellery or cash tucked away among the lingerie.
But one light-fingered villain ended up getting caught because they had handled an intimate item. A listener to the the Toni and Ryan podcast wrote in to explain how her glass dildo led to a thief being caught.
The listener, named Chloë, wrote: “It turns out the robber touched my glass dildo when ransacking my drawers. Turns out glass is the best surface for fingerprints.”
READ MORE: Cops broke open 'kingpin's' safe at nan's expecting a goldmine – it was full of sex toys
For more hilarious glimpses into other people's sex lives keep an eye on Daily Star's other sex confession stories
But that meant the process of investigating the time made for an embarrassing couple of minutes. She explained: “I had to stand there whilst the forensic guy put his gloves on and picked up my dildo and dusted it for prints – MORTIFYING.”
Miraculously, the investigator managed to lift a clear print from the dildo that eventually led to the criminal’s capture. “However, I’m also a loser because I've lost my dildo as it's now been submitted into evidence," Chloë added.
“And now I have to use Tinder to get my jollies off like a f*****g loser”. Toni had no hesitation in branding the letter “the best confession we’ve ever had.”
'I dressed up as sexy nurse when I was 17 for fella – but my mum found outfit'
But, Toni pointed out that “sex toys are expensive,” so losing the item to the evidence locker was “not ideal”.
“If he pleads not guilty, will they go to court?” Ryan asked. The pair roared with laughter as he imagined the clerk of the court saying "exhibit 4.4723… this 12 inch glass number with quite a girthy tip”.
The only thing that could have made the story even better, Toni said, is if the owner of the dildo had opted to have her initials etched into it. “Mister Chloë,” he giggled.
Of course, it could have been much worse. Chloë could have found a dildo rather than losing one. A woman who was house-sitting for her parents while they were away recently confessed that she had made the fatal error of opening a shoebox she found under their bed.
The woman, named Melissa, told the Help, I Sexted My Boss podcast how her innocent curiosity led her to her mum's sex toy – only to discover it was a detailed replica of her dad’s manhood.
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