Mum thought she was dying after 90% of her hair fell out in 2 weeks
A mum who thought she was "dying" when she suddenly lost her hair has revealed how her young daughters deal with her condition.
Jo Tucker, 38, says 90 per cent of her hair was gone in two weeks and the rest followed, which happened out of nowhere and for no apparent reason.
The mum-of-three, from Bath, said she found the lack of control "hideous" and "traumatic" as she not only lost the hair on her head, but also on her body.
Having alopecia initially made her feel "ugly" and "lost" and with no explanation why, she says she even thought she was dying.
But Jo embraced her condition, pulling off vibrant, fabulous wigs and courageously posting pictures online of her bald head to raise awareness of alopecia.
She says she was determined to speak openly about living with her condition – including to her little girls.
Matilda, nine, Elsie, six, and Ivy, one, have taken their mum’s alopecia in their stride, and speak honestly about it, asking questions that come to their minds.
Jo says they have asked why it had happened, why mummy has no eyelashes, and when her hair will come back.
Speaking to Mirror online Jo said: "I talk to them so they know they can talk to me about anything.
"They ask why it happened. My eldest daughter asks to dress up in my wigs.
"Matilda will ask ‘would you like to borrow my black hat?’
"Elsie asks the most questions. She asks ‘why don’t you have any eyelashes’ and ‘when will your hair grow back?’
"I give them the answer that it might grow back or it might not, and they move on.
"I have tried to take an approach where I explain to them that mummy is fine but now she gets the opportunity to wear different hair that she likes.
"They say ‘mummy, why don’t you wear this one’ and ‘oh mummy you are quite lucky because you get to wear this hair.’
"They also say things like ‘mum, one day you can have short hair and the next day long’.
"Matilda has got the best understanding of it – if she spots anybody without hair she says ‘oh she hasn’t got hair like you’."
Jo, who works as a buyer, said her hair loss happened between December 2017 to January this year.
She said she noticed a patch missing on the underneath of her hair.
But this had happened during her second pregnancy and everything had grown back after she gave birth, so she wasn’t worried.
After having her third daughter, she says she also "had a little patch appear and disappear again."
But this time it was different.
"In December, the shedding ramped up and I was noticing it in my hands, and it escalated," Jo, who used to have a ‘pixie hairstyle,’ recalled.
"I went to the doctor and had blood tests but by that point 90 percent of it had gone – in about two weeks over the Christmas period.
"It was so rapid, it was coming out in clumps in the shower.
"I could feel it falling, it was really weird.
"I could touch the ends of my hair and a clump would come out in my hands, it was really traumatic.
"When I went back to work after Christmas I needed a wig I had lost that much."
Jo was diagnosed with alopecia areata around January time, a general term for hair loss that can occur at any age.
But by February this had developed into alopecia universalis, complete loss of hair on the scalp and body. Her arm hair was the last to go in March.
Jo said she had blood tests which showed that "technically nothing was wrong" with her.
She says she wasn’t going through a particularly stressful period when she lost her hair, adding "it really did seem to come from nowhere".
At first, Jo struggled to deal with what was happening.
She said: "When it first started happening it was really traumatic.
"I felt really disgusting and ugly. You just don’t feel normal.
"The lack of control is hideous. I couldn’t put a stop to it.
"I felt really lost. For a really long time it was awful. You just don’t know what’s going on.
"I genuinely thought I was dying.
"Going back to work, I think I just cried solidly for a week.
"Then I went for a (wig) fitting, which was amazing. It brought me back a tiny bit of confidence."
She added: "I was worried about what my husband would think of me, would he still find me attractive .
"It (hair) seems so significant but psychologically and mentally it goes way deeper than how you look."
Jo said her husband Joe has taken her condition into his stride and he "doesn’t seem to notice it anymore."
She said that "everything just started falling," joking "I’m the smoothest person I know."
Jo said she has even lost her eyebrows, eyelashes, and nostril hair, and says in the end she clipped off the last "whispy bits" on her head.
"I even miss the little bit of moustache I used to have, it’s really strange," she added.
But Jo keeps amazingly positive for her girls and embraces changing her style daily.
The mum says she doesn’t want Matilda, Elsie, and Ivy to think she’s unwell "as technically there’s nothing wrong with me."
She explained: "I tell them some people just don’t have any hair and it’s fine.
"Children adapt really well.
"They embrace the hair thing with me. I have got a pink wig they love.
"I was conscious and didn’t want their friends to talk about me, I didn’t want it to be a negative thing.
"I have been blatant about it because I change the colours of the wigs.
"My eldest daughter asks to dress up in them.
"We always try and talk to the girls and say there are lots of different people in the world, who might have different ailments."
She added: "I had been worried about other people saying things to them – and worried about them worrying about me .
"It’s just everyday life for them (the girls) now.
"I worry it could be hereditary, I worry for their sakes."
Jo, who thinks it is unlikely her hair will grow back, says she has found the ‘community’ of people on Instagram with alopecia supportive.
She said: "It’s like being a member of a club no one wants membership for in the first place. "
She’s also open with friends about her condition.
"I take the lead in being open on the subject, so friends are open to talking about it, she said.
"I try to make people feel comfortable with it."
Jo’s highs and lows of daily life with alopecia
Highs
– "Embracing the wig wearing"
– "I have cut my getting ready time down as I can whizz my wig on and I’m done"
– "I’ve got salon looking hair every day"
– "The bond you make with someone else who has got alopecia – it’s like you’re in a sisterhood"
– "Inspiring other people – I’ve had messages saying ‘my daughter is suffering and you have helped’."
Lows
– "It feels and looks so strange when I wake up"
– "It’s a pain to have to draw in my eyebrows every day"
– "Wearing glasses is a pain with a wig as you have to tuck the arms into the hair "
– "Having a cold and my nose running uncontrollably – which is embarrassing "
– "Girls holidays are challenging – you’re either sweating in a wig or embracing the baldness"
– "Exercise classes – you just want to blend in but you stick out."
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