Is there really a gender mismatch when it comes to the best time to have sex?

What’s the best time of day to have sex?

Your answer might depend on your gender – and, if you’re in a heterosexual relationship, you may find it doesn’t match up with your partner’s.

That’s according to a survey that found that the peak time for women is 10pm, right before they go to bed, while men prefer to have sex first thing in the morning, at 7.30am.

As if we didn’t already have enough to contend with when it comes to mismatched sex drives, apparently we also have to navigate a 14-hour difference in the time we’d like to get intimate. Great stuff.

This claimed difference means that, according to the study, 64% of women and 38% of men say they sometimes have sex when they don’t really feel like it.

Jessica Leoni, sex and relationships expert at Illicit Encounters, who commissioned the survey of 2,000 people, said: ‘This new research shows that there are big differences in sex o’clock between the sexes.

‘Men are ready for sex before breakfast, whereas women most want passion last thing at night.

‘This creates big problems for some couples who get out of the habit of having sex regularly and drift apart.’

Jessica goes on to say that this could be the cause of affairs, but as a representative for an an extramarital dating site, she would suggest that.

Rather than throwing our hands up in the air at these findings and declaring ourselves doomed, it’s worth looking a little deeper.

For one thing, while the morning may have been chosen as the best time to have sex by the majority of men, that’s only by a tiny margin – 31% of men in the survey picked 6am, while 25% chose between 9pm and 12pm.

That means that women’s ‘peak’ time is men’s very close second choice.

And men’s ‘peak’ time comes in third preferred for women.

We’re not so different after all…

Men and women’s peak times to have sex, according to the survey:

Men’s peak sex windows, from most to least preferred:

Women’s peak sex windows, from most to least preferred:

While it’s easy to simplify any differences in the optimal sex time to gender alone – men have morning wood, women like to get cosy before sleep, for example – it feels far more likely that the best time to have sex is very much down to the rest of our schedules.

Yes, perhaps men might tend to be aroused in the morning, but if they have an early start requiring a manic rush from shower to breakfast, that’s likely to take precedence.

Equally, perhaps those who chose 9pm to 12pm as the best time to get romantic did so not because of some kind of internal clock, but because this is the time all the day’s tasks are done and they can actually relax.

The answer, as with so many issues to do with sex and relationships, is likely adapting and comprimising.

The adapting bit will depend on your day-to-day lives. A previous survey by Superdrug found that the most popular times of the week for couples in the UK to have sex are Saturday and Sunday mornings and Friday and Saturday nights – because our schedules change up at the weekends and allow more free time.

It might be worth scheduling sex for times when you know both you and your partner can properly enjoy the moment.

Then, compromise. You might think that 6am on a Tuesday is the best time to have sex, but do you also fancy it at 9pm, which happens to be your other half’s preference?

You might have one ideal time to get some loving, but realistically, your sex drive is unlikely to have a strict time limit. Try out different times and do it when it works for you, rather than holding out for one ascribed ‘peak’.

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