I'm having sex with my cousin & want to go public but she is terrified of our family’s reaction | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE:I’VE fallen for my cousin and want to go public but she is terrified of our family’s reaction.

I’m thinking of making an announcement at an upcoming family party in the hope that once everyone is over the initial shock they will be happy for us — and she’ll see getting our relationship out in the open is for the best.

I’m a 29-year-old man, she’s 23.

We only met three years ago when her dad — my mum’s younger brother — moved his family back from Australia.

We really hit it off and all my friends love her because she’s such good fun.

She became a permanent member of my friendship group, and even though I didn’t let her know, I knew I was starting to have feelings for her.

After one big night out, she came back to stay at mine as she had done before.

But this time after I’d said goodnight and was drifting off to sleep in my bed, I felt her climb in and cuddle up to me. We didn’t say a word but ended up having the most intense sex I’ve ever experienced.

We have been seeing each other for over a year now and are both smitten.

My friends know and although they were pretty shocked at first, they have now accepted us. I’d like our relationship out in the open so we can get on with life. 

I’d love her to move in and, one day, I definitely see us getting married and having kids.

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She says she wants the same things as me but can’t risk her parents cutting her off.

 She says she needs time to work it out. 

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DEIDRE SAYS: Though culturally many feel having a relationship with your cousin is wrong, it is not illegal.

You two obviously have something special and shouldn’t worry about the opinions of others. 

Of course, if you don’t come clean, then your relationship will never fully develop. Instead, it will eventually stagnate and you will no doubt end up resenting your girlfriend.

But please don’t out yourselves until your cousin is fully ready.

Even if your family did accept your relationship, she could rightly feel ambushed by you and would resent you taking away the choice from her.

It would really help both of you to visit a relationship counsellor to work this through together.

You can find a counsellor at tavistockrelationships.org (020 7380 1960), who have online help available. 

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