I got intimate with my cousin and fear fling will wreck new relationship | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE:I’M stressing that I won’t be able to have sex with my new man because I feel guilty about the naughty things I’ve done in my past.

As a teenager I sexually experimented with my cousin and was saucy with my uncle.

Now I’m so worried my past might come back to haunt me it’s starting to affect my new relationship.

I wish I could turn back time.

I was only 17 when my male cousin of 18 and I started fooling around.

We went to the same college and would hang out regularly.

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I had never thought of him sexually until I saw him with another girl and felt a pang of jealousy.

He split up with this girl a few months later and I began flirting with him whenever I saw him.

We ended up sexting and kissing and touching each other intimately. Thankfully we didn’t have full sex.

It was so exciting because nobody else knew about us. I think the secrecy made it something very special.

Eventually our contact fizzled out after we left college and started working.

A year later I started flirting with and sexting an uncle.

Again, I think it was the illicit nature of our contact that was so exciting.

After a couple of months he tried to arrange to meet me in secret and thankfully I came to my senses and called it off.

This all happened over six years ago but I feel so weird about it now.

I am 24 now and my new man is 26. I barely see these family members now, but I can’t stop worrying.

How do I protect my new relationship?


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DEIDRE SAYS: Your new relationship feels precious, so you are paranoid about anything destroying your chances.

It’s time to let go of your past.

It isn’t unusual to have different types of sexual experimentation when you are younger.

Exploring a relationship with your cousin was normal, and even marrying a cousin is legal in the UK.

You worked out that sexting your uncle wasn’t right and put an end to it.

You don’t have to tell your boyfriend about what you did. It’s irrelevant.

Your past is exactly that – your past – and it’s helped make you the person you are today.

My support pack on Raising Self-esteem can help you move on.

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