How can I tell my new wife that I've got my ex-girlfriend pregnant?
It was stupid and I told my fiancée – but now I’ve heard this ex is pregnant with my baby.
I am out of my mind with worry. I am 28 and got married just over six months ago. My wife is 27. I truly love her and we are very happy.
I had bumped into my ex two weeks before the wedding when the big-day frenzy was at its worst and I was fed up with my wife’s mother going on about table decorations and flowers.
My ex-girlfriend was standing next to me in a supermarket queue. She is 30.
I’d not seen her for two years and we got talking, finding out what each of us had been doing.
She was in a hurry so she suggested we meet up for a drink to continue our chat.
When we met up, we talked and talked. She said splitting up with me was a mistake on her part. She said she was still in love with me and I suppose I was flattered.
I should have seen the warning signs at that point but, if I did, I took no notice.
She invited me to her flat and we got cosy on the sofa. I could feel her thigh pressing against mine and I put my arm round her shoulders.
Inevitably, we kissed — then she started to undress both of us. We went into her bedroom and had terrific sex.
Afterwards I said I was sorry and that it was a mistake. I didn’t expect to see or hear from her again, but now she has contacted me to say she is pregnant.
It is far too late to do anything about it. My wife doesn’t know yet.
I have no idea how I am going to tell her that I am about to become a father.
I think she will be horrified and I might lose her altogether.
I don’t know how I could have been so stupid.
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DEIDRE SAYS: I am afraid this is a secret you can’t sensibly keep. If the baby is yours, you will be liable to pay child maintenance and I hope you will be a caring dad. None of this is the child’s fault.
But so far you only have your ex’s word for it that the baby is yours. Tell her you will insist on DNA tests.
If the baby is yours, the longer you keep it from your wife, the more hurt and angry she will be when she does find out.
I know you were feeling fed up with wedding preparations when you ran into your ex but don’t tell your wife that.
Believe me, she won’t see it as any justification and you only will wind her up all the more.
Saying sorry – again and again – is your best hope.
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