A problem shared by mother-of-four and GP Clare Bailey
A problem shared by mother-of-four and GP Clare Bailey: My husband refuses to see the doctor but what can I do?
- A woman says she worries about her 70-year-old husband’s shaking hands
- She said she has found the issue exasperating and worrying in equal measure
- The anonymous woman asks GP Clare Bailey how she can approach the topic with her husband
Q I am worried about my husband, now 70, as he refuses to go the doctor about the tremor in his hands, which has come on over a matter of years. He says his dad had it and there’s nothing to be done. I find it exasperating and worrying in equal measure. It seems to get worse when he is carrying a cup of tea, but doesn’t affect the rest of his body. What if it is Parkinson’s? I’m not sure how to get him seen without dragging him there. Or am I overreacting?
A I’m afraid you are in good company. I have seen many a reluctant patient frogmarched into the consulting room, saying they are fine and not wanting to trouble anybody about their ‘minor symptoms’.
But when the prostate is becoming troublesome, the knee is playing up or, as in your husband’s case, the tremor is becoming more noticeable, it is probably time to check it out.
Often these symptoms have appeared so gradually they become almost normal. You tune it out, so it remains under the medical radar. I have been there myself, ignoring a crusty skin patch on my face, convinced it was getting better, until my husband Michael insisted I get seen. It turned out to be a slow-growing and thankfully non-malignant cancer, but I still needed surgery on my face to remove it.
I am worried about my husband, now 70, as he refuses to go the doctor about the tremor in his hands, which has come on over a matter of years (File image)
I think I knew it was likely to be bad news and I was in denial.
You might be reassured to know that what you describe sounds unlikely to be Parkinson’s, which is a brain condition causing progressive brain damage with stiffness, slow movement and tremor.
You say your husband’s tremor usually only happens when he uses his hands, rather than when walking or resting his hands in the lap. I also note that his father also had a mild tremor, making it likely to be what is called a ‘benign essential tremor’, which commonly runs in families.
A tremor is not typically a dangerous condition, although for some it can become a problem, especially when carrying or drinking from a cup, cutting food or tying shoelaces.
Claire Bailey (pictured) explains that although it is common to develop a mild tremor as you get older, if it is troublesome or affecting daily activities, getting worse, or he has other symptoms, it would be wise to seek help as there are medications and treatments if needed
Although it is common to develop a mild tremor as you get older, if it is troublesome or affecting daily activities, getting worse, or he has other symptoms, it would be wise to seek help as there are medications and treatments if needed.
How can you persuade him to get advice? First have a good look on the NHS website, ideally together. Chat about why he is resistant. He may be anxious about what the doctor might say, embarrassed or simply too busy.
You might try a bit of persuasion, saying that it really worries and upsets you. Offer to make the appointment to make it easier for him.
But nagging will make it worse and end in arguments. Remember you are not his parent — it’s his choice.
I was impressed to see a study showing that those in their 70s who regularly pump iron and do aerobic exercises — such as Arnold Schwarzenegger — cut their risk of premature death by almost half. This is according to researchers from Iowa University, who monitored 100,000 adults aged between 55 and 74. I was particularly delighted to see that the benefits in women were even greater. I get my aerobic exercise cycling up the steep hill from town, and muscle-strengthening exercises doing Pilates, squats and push-ups. Perhaps I need to get some weights for Christmas.
Can Botox help cure your anxiety?
Did you know that as well as making your face look younger, Botox might be able to reduce feelings of depression and anxiety? Using MRI brain scans, researchers from Semmelweis University in Hungary found that people injected with Botox in their foreheads showed reduced activity in the amygdala, which processes negative emotions. If it can reduce the mental health burden, it’s worth more research.
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