What your sex dreams REALLY mean – and why it’s bad news if you imagine bedding your boss
HAVE you ever woken from a solid sleep after having a raunchy sex dream about someone you, well, shouldn't be bonking?
If you have, you're not alone, and while dreaming about shagging your boss or an ex may seem harmless (I mean, it's just a dream, right?), there is a reason behind it.
Our dreams often stem from thoughts filling your head before you sleep, but some aren't as straight forward as they seem.
While there's certainly something sexy about entering forbidden territories, and spending the night with someone who is usually off limits, our dreams don't always reflect our actual thoughts and desires – so what do they ACTUALLY mean?
Fabulous called in the experts and enlisted the help of Luxury Bed Co who asked dream expert and wellbeing consultant Lee Chambers MSc MBPsS for answers.
Here, Lee explains the meanings behind our sex dreams…
Case of the ex
Lee explains that dreaming about your ex isn't uncommon, but it does depend on if it's a reoccurring dream.
He said: " If you have recently broke up, it can be all part of getting over the emotions, but if you are still having these dreams long after, it would suggest you have some underlying grief from your previous relationship or are feeling unfulfilled with a new partner."
It's also important to consider how you feel in the dreams, Lee explains,as that can give a clue as to what may have triggered it.
Dreaming of bonking your boss rarely means you ACTUALLY want to do the deed, Lee explains, instead it means much more.
"Dreaming of having sex with someone in a position of authority over you can often signal your not being as assertive as you want to be in life," he explains.
"Depending on how you feel in the dream, it may indicate that you need to collaborate more with your boss, or it may mean you are feeling stifled and unappreciated in your role."
We all have at least ONE celebrity crush, and perhaps some of us have joked about a hall pass knowing that meeting the star is unlikely.
Lee agrees, saying: "Celebrity sex dreams are often remembered. In this case, it is likely that you are fantasising about a celebrity you fancy.
"As celebrities are generally unobtainable, it’s a boost to our self esteem dreaming of the unrealistic," he explains, but there is more to it than just a crush.
Lee explains that it could mean you're feeling that you're missing out on excitement and risk in your life, as these dreams will have a context that explains how you found yourself in bed with an A-lister.
So you're in a committed relationship but suddenly someone else joins you both in the sack….
Lee tells us that group sex dreams are rarer, but often signal that something in your everyday life is unsettled.
He says: "A great identifying factor is how did you react in this dream. You may be playing out a potential fantasy, but it might have been a nightmare that woke you up."
Lee explains that dreams like this are more likely when you're overwhelmed in life, your attention divided and you are lacking focus.
And adds: "Given that in dreams, you can play 'what if' scenarios out safely, maybe you actually want a threesome and were getting some dream practice."
Age is just a number
"With a big age gap, it’s easy to look into past relationships with our parents and authority figures to see if past issues are manifesting in your dreams," Lee explains.
But more often than not, she says you can identify what may have caused the dream by exploring how you felt and reacted, and what this may signify.
For example, are you pining for your youth, or not feeling in a position of respect? Lee says it’s more likely to signal where you are in your life, looking at days gone by or wanting the stability and experience of later life.
Let's face it, we pick our friends based on qualities we like, and it's not surprising we fancy certain traits over others.
"Dreaming about going there with a friend you don’t fancy can often highlight traits in them that you admire and actually value deeply yourself," Lee says.
"The thing with sex dreams is it is less important who is in the dream, but more about how you feel about that person and what they mean to you in the real world."
Lee explained that personality plays a subconscious role, saying:"How the dream makes you feel, and what comes to mind when you think of that person will give you the answers you desire."
In other relationship related news, we shared the cringe moment bloke’s boat proposal goes wrong when his bride-to-be kicks him sending him crashing into the water.
And a sexpert reveals the ‘disturbing reason women don’t want sex’ and how to boost your love life.
Meanwhile a devastated woman gets brutal note from neighbour telling her to dump her bloke… because they’d just had sex.
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