The best Christmas jokes for kids and adults – the cracker gags that will actually make you go ho ho ho

But if you always get tongue tied when your turn comes, don't worry. Here are the best Christmas gags to make your loved ones laugh this year.

What are the best Christmas jokes for kids?

Cracker jokes

Q: What do you call an old snowman?

A: Water

Q: Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A: A mince spy

Q: What did the snowman say to the other snowman?

A: Can you smell carrot?

Q: What do elves do after school?

A: Their gnome work!

Q: What’s the difference between Santa’s reindeer and a knight?

A: One slays the dragon, and the other’s draggin’ the sleigh

…and a long one

Rudolph the Viking

One night a Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, “It’s going to rain.”

His wife asked, “How do you know?”

“Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

What are the best Christmas jokes for adults?

Q: What do snowmen use to make snowbabies?

A: Snowballs

Q: What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?

A: A rebel without a Claus

Q: Why is Christmas just like your job?
A: You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit

Q: Why did Santa send his daughter to college?
A: To keep her off the North Pole

…and a long one

Santa's snack

Santa Claus goes to the doctor with a problem.

Santa: I think I have a mince pie stuck up my bottom

Doctor: Ok Mr Claus, bend over please


Doctor: Yes indeed, you do have a mince pie stuck up your bottom, but you're in luck. Because I've got some cream for that.

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