I had my daughter at 14 and people are stunned I’m so strict – she won’t have an allowance & she can’t date until 18

ONE mum who became pregnant at 14, has revealed that she is the most super-strict mum to her daughter.

Stav, now 20, from Toronto, says that when she tells people about how many tough rules she has for her five-year-old they are surprised because she was a teen mom.

The mum took to her TikTok account to share how she plans to lay down the law as soon as her little girl, Vanessa, hits her teenage years.

Posting under the domain @stav.t she says: "Rules for my child, let's go."

The mum said: "Starting off with grades, you better be getting good grades or you can't do anything. Or at least show me that you are tying in school."

Adding: "I didn't fail any classes, I passed high school in time, and I was raising you. You have no excuse."


Stav said that she is happy to get her child a tutor should she require extra help in her post that has been now viewed 205k times.

The next rule revolved around the chores she expects her then-teen to do, and the mum said she won't be rewarding her with pocket money for it.

"I'm not going to reward you for doing something you should have already been doing. I have been cleaning up your s*** since you were born" she said.

Adding: "Sorry I'm not gonna give her an allowance. If she wants money to go out with her friends, I'll give it to her, if she wants money to buy something I'll give it to her, but she knows she better be saving her money and spending it as she wants to."

When it comes to a phone, she said she will let her daughter have a phone when she is 13.

In part-two-post, she says social media is also a no-go until she hits this milestone.

Moving on to drugs and drinking, the mum said she knows she will get hate for her unusual rules around this, but expects Vanessa will lie to her as a teen, as this is what she did.

"I lied to my mom all the time, and I got myself into some messy-a** situations by doing that and I don't want my daughter to be in the same position," said Stav.

In the post that has reached a whopping 137k views, the mum added: "The first time I balled up I had a panic attack. If she wants to ball up or drink for the first time, I want it to be with me in case she reacts badly I can be there."

The mum defends her decision to let her teen smoke marijuana in front of her, by saying that she would hate to think she is buying drugs off strangers in the street.

She also says that this supervised use of drugs and drinking will be when her daughter is around 16.

I didn't fail any classes, I passed high school in time, and I was raising you. You have no excuse."

"Based on her grades on her maturity and her grades and everything else, I'm gonna say like 16ish, for drinking and smoking with my supervision, but weed, not nicotine," Stav said.

Moving on to romantic relationships she says: "Vanessa knows boys are a waste of time."

In part three, the TikTok user explains that she doesn't mind whether her daughter dates boys or girls, but would rather she didn't date until she was 18.

"Based on my experience, you should spend your teenage years having fun with your friends and not worrying about a relationship that probably won't even last," she said.

Adding: "Unless she finds someone she really, really likes and they treat her right, they're nice to her, they go out of their way to make her happy, all those things."

The mum says that she feels it's important to love yourself before loving someone else and that most teens at age 17 and 18 are "super insecure" but if she is over 16 and has a boyfriend it will be ok as long as she gets to meet the person.

I lied to my mom all the time, and I got myself into some messy-a** situations by doing that and I don't want my daughter to be in the same position,

The mum also said that she will let her daughter go hang out with people as long as she knows her whereabouts and who she is with.

In part four she says that in regards to curfew, she would want her teen home before the street lights come on unless she is going to a party, where she will have to be home by 1 am.

"I would want the address, and preferably drive her and her friends and pick them up. I would make her curfew 1 am because nothing good happens after that" she said.

Adding: "When she is 17/18 I might make her curfew two, maybe three, depending on our trust."

The mum said when it comes to getting a car, she will teach her how to drive and allow her to borrow her car, but not buy her one of her own.

And ending on the subject of vacationing with friends, she said if the friend's parents are driving she would let her go at 16, but if it somewhere she has to fly then 17 with parental supervision.

"If she wants to fly alone with just her friends I'm gonna say 18 at least but preferably 19," she said.

Adding: "I need to know the friends or you're not going."

If you like stories about honest mum stories you will love this one about a woman who didn't get how tedious being a mom was before kids.

And you may also enjoy this video of a mom-hack on how to ensure babies or children using a highchair keep their toys off the floor.

To help organise your household you will love this piece on how to help kids hold on to their pen lids.

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