People Mag: The Duke & Duchess of Cambridge’s 10-year anniversary is keen

This month is going to be all about the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s ten-year wedding anniversary. There will be magazine covers and embiggening stories and sugary profiles. I’ve also heard the conspiracy that once the Keens hit a decade of marriage, the wheels will fall off and they’ll divorce? Which isn’t going to happen. I mean, never say never, but my take has always been: Kate will never leave William, but he might leave her. The only way William would walk would be if he actively thinks she’s harming his Future King status or if he thinks he’s got someone better waiting in the wings. None of that is the case presently, from what I can see. William appreciates Kate for the “dedicated family man” cover she gives him, and he’s never going to find anyone else who will put up with all of his sh-t. So, with that in mind, please enjoy this preview of People Magazine’s special edition for the Keen Anniversary:

It seems impossible, but a decade has flown by since a global audience of millions watched Prince William marry his college sweetheart, Kate Middleton, on April 29, 2011. Now PEOPLE is commemorating the occasion with a new special edition, William and Kate: 10 Joyous Years, which traces their lives together beginning with their courtship at the University of St. Andrew’s in Scotland, through their brief split, to their engagement, and to today, as the couple devotes themselves to their three kids—Prince George and Prince Louis and Princess Charlotte—and to the charitable causes that move them.

This collector’s edition also includes a detailed look back at William and Kate’s glorious spring wedding. As expected, there was the grandeur and age-old traditions that have held the royal-watchers rapt since Queen Elizabeth’s 1947 nuptials to Prince Philip were broadcast live over the radio to 200 million listeners. There was Kate’s jaw-dropping gown (by British designer Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen), gleaming horse-drawn carriages, a flyover by the Royal Air Force and cheers for newlywed kisses on the balcony of Buckingham Palace.

But there were also plenty of signs that served to say: This is not your nan’s royal wedding. The most obvious update to the House of Windsor—the bride herself. Kate Middleton was a commoner and a confident, grown-up woman, not a 20-year-old member of Britain’s aristocracy, as William’s mother, Lady Diana Spencer, had been when she married Prince Charles. After dating William for nearly 10 years before they announced their engagement, Kate had no illusions about what her life as a royal would be and the down-to-earth tone she intended to bring to it.

Throughout the one-hour ceremony, Will and Kate appeared lighthearted, locking eyes and smiling, a united team of equals genuinely enjoying their day. The whole affair “felt like being at a family wedding, albeit quite a large one,” a guest and friend of the Middletons, Tim Hirst, told PEOPLE. “It was very intimate, very comfortable, very friendly—you had to keep pinching yourself to remember that this was the most amazing wedding of the future King and Queen.”

That remains true today. Yes, the Duke of Cambridge is an heir to the British throne and his wife will someday be Queen Consort. But at home, they are simply William and Kate. He’ll make tea for guests, she might serve enchiladas. As Dad and Mum, they divvy up the parenting duties that seem to have multiplied as school and work went remote during the COVID pandemic. “I’ve become a hairdresser . . . much to my children’s horror,” Kate has shared. The pair have also been homeschooling George, 7, Charlotte, 5, and Louis, 2, and conducting work by video. To help, they’ve been given use of the Queen’s Sandringham country house, not far from their Anmer Hall home. “It’s a lovely, welcoming house,” a source told PEOPLE.

[From People]

People also embiggens William for following in “his father’s environmentalist footsteps,” because he said words in a documentary about how he’s keen. Kate is embiggened as well for “concentrating on early childhood development” with her landmark “Five Big Questions,” a survey so stupid, they had to fill in the results with secondary polling. And don’t forget the pie charts! People Mag also promises to highlight “how the Middleton family has thrived in the spotlight that came when Kate married into royalty,” which is how you know that the Middletons are the sources for much of this f–kery.

A few more things: “This is not your nan’s royal wedding.” I disagree. The wedding was just a run-of-the-mill royal wedding with zero special touches or modernization. The idea that the wedding was modern because of Kate, “a commoner and a confident, grown-up woman, not a 20-year-old member of Britain’s aristocracy, as William’s mother, Lady Diana Spencer,” well, have they checked on the big girl lately? Because they’re still infantilizing this nearly 40-year-old woman. She picks out her own clothes and goes to the potty and we’re supposed to be super-impressed! Besides, Kate has shown in the past decade that she’s a true Victorian.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Avalon Red, cover courtesy of People.

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