Louise Redknapp’s ‘sadness’ over Jamie divorce – and the regret that haunts her

This time two years ago, Louise Redknapp was coming off the back of a painful separation from husband Jamie.

Isolated and frustrated by life as a stay-at-home mum, as their 21-year marriage collapsed, Louise moved out and bravely relaunched her own career.

But as well as finally embracing her true passion after almost two decades away from the spotlight, the past two years have also been fraught with devastation and fear for the star, who turns 45 today.

"I’m scared about the future. Jamie and I have got to a really positive place with each other. But I don’t know what life is going to be like," she told You magazine in March.

"I’m nervous about work and career and all those things, because I’m not young. And people are judgmental."

While she was the one who filed for divorce, the end of their seemingly rock-solid romance nevertheless hit Louise for six.

Admitting it came as a "shock", while she has never divulged the exact reason, she has been open about wanting to escape her "Stepford Wife" role.

With nothing to do while sons Charley, 15, and Beau, 10, were at school and forced to watch TV pundit Jamie live the life she wanted for herself, her self-esteem took a beating

That was until a 2016 stint on Strictly Come Dancing "put the fire" in her belly and inspired her to finally pursue her own dreams.

What followed was a successful stint in West End show Cabaret, followed by musical 9 to 5. And she's now got her comeback album, Heavy Love, ready for a January 2020 release.

However, she admitted she wished she had done thing differently. Describing her marriage to Jamie as "traditional", she kept her confidence crisis hidden, fearing those around her "would think I was nuts."

"I wish, three years ago, I’d been able to just speak up. For a long time it was easy to blame him," she previously said.

"But it was down to me to say, 'Something’s not right. My self-esteem is really struggling. I’ve got no passion. I wish I’d just gone, 'Right, the kids are getting older, and I love my job and I’m going to give it a real go, and Jamie, if you don’t like it, tough. But if you do like it, let’s talk about it.'"

Her biggest regret, she told the Guardian, was not opening up, because if she had then "at least I’d have known I tried."

And the pain of their split is something that will stay with Louise for the rest of her life.

"There'll never be a day that I don't feel sad about it because he was my husband for 20 years and the love I had for him will never leave me," she previously told Metro.

"But, I've had to pick myself up and find a better place and I'm definitely loving working again."

In spring she revealed she was struggling to move on, admitting it had been two years since she'd last had dinner with a man.

And she also struggled watching Jamie date women who looked like her – including model Lizzie Bowden who he enjoyed a brief fling with earlier this year.

“It is kinda weird! And then I start looking at them thinking, ‘Do they look like me?’ But he’s got his taste,” she told the Guardian.

However, if reports are to be believed, things are finally looking up for Louise after she was apparently spotted snogging model John Halls.

According to The Sun, she and the 37-year-old former footballer “were all over each other” and “snogging one another’s faces off” at Soho House last month.

They're believed to have had an 'instant rapport' when he auditioned to play her lover in her Stretch music video.

While she's apparently decided not to take things any further to save herself any complications, it'll be her sons who get the final call over any future boyfriend.

"What I will say is, if it happens, I’m going to be honest and open and embrace it. But my kids get the last say," she told You.

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