‘Beto O’Rourke’ And His Hysterical Hands Announce 2020 Bid On ‘Tonight Show’

Tonight show opened with a message from Jimmy Fallon playing one very over-caffeinated Beto O’Rourke – newest Dem White House hopeful.

“Hi, I’m Beto O’Rourke and I’m excited!” he shouted, flinging his arms about while his  “wife” hung on for dear life. Donald Trump would love it, having already asked the press if Beto is nuts or are the hand gestures part of his routine, signaling how he intends to mock the candidate during the race.

Recognizing his relative lack of name recognition one day into his campaign, Fallon’s Beto said folks in Iowa told him they know he ran against Ted Cruz in Texas and “We know you’re hot.”

“And then usually the ‘hot’ thing comes up again,” he enthused.

The “real” Beto O’Rourke is “like if a compassionate head nod turned into a person,” he described.

He described himself as such a compassionate man, “When I eat salads, I thank every single leaf for its sacrifice.”

The question he gets asked most is if he can beat Donald Trump.

“Heck yeah!” he shouted at the camera.

Borrowing a line from his Vanity Fair interview, he added, “I was born to do this!”

“I’m like if your friend’s hot dad had the energy of a golden retriever. Ruff!”

He got down to business:

“Look, are there more experienced candidates out there with clearer policy ideas?”

“Sure!”

Source: Read Full Article