Hot Sluts Of The Day!
The bears (not pictured because they are masters of their craft) who bribed a guard dog into letting them onto his human’s property!
In this sequel to Goldilocks, Goldilocks is a male golden mastiff/hound/Beagle mix in Canada whose ONE JOB is to guard his human’s house from bears and failed. Goldilocks 2: The Bears’ REVENGE!!!!!
Jesse Jordan, of Northern Ontario, tweeted that he’s had his guard pooch Brickleberry (aka Brick) for one year and gave Brick the highly important job of guarding the trash at night so that bears won’t go through it, causing a mess. Jesse tweeted that Guard Dog Brick spectacularly failed at his guarding duties three times. Jesse woke up to find a trashy mess and Brick gnawing on a deer bone. Oh, Brick, don’t be down on yourself (“Bitch, who said I was?! Look at me enjoying this deer bone.” – Brick), I too would immediately wrap my mouth around a bone given to me by a bear.
Jesse believes that the bears totally tricked Brick!
I guess Jesse is the kind of boss who believes in the three strikes rule, because he has fired (Former) Guard Dog Brick from the position of Guardian of the Trash.
Jesse also gave us Brick’s origin story and let us know that he is good at some things, like being around kids.
And because, I guess, people got on Jesse for leaving Brick outside at night to be a main entree for bears, he said that the only thing that black bears really fuck with on a violent level are trash cans:
I -have- to turn off notifications for this thread, but I’ll leave you all with one final reminder that black bears are a nuisance in northern Ontario and not typically a threat, meaning Brick is very much not likely to get eaten. If he was, I wouldn’t let him sleep outside.
Now that Brick has been fired from his job, I’m not sure how Jesse is going to try to keep the bears out of his trash, but whatever he tries, it’s not going to work. If he gets a more ferocious guard dog, Brick will only drug the new guard dog with Ambien so he can collect his deer bone from the bears. If he gets a lock for the trash can, Brick will only snatch the key and use it to open up the trash so he can collect his deer bone from the bears. Brick belongs to those bears now!
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