Bear breaks into Olympic softball complex, remains on the loose

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As if the Tokyo Olympics doesn’t already have its hands full with the ‘VID & athletes testing out the anti-sex beds, now organizers have a bear problem at the Olympic softball venue that’s really just a temporary softball field inside a baseball stadium. That’s right, organizers are now hunting for an Asian black bear that broke into the Fukushima softball venue not once, BUT TWICE!

In a statement, organizers explained the situation as it stands: “A guard found a bear inside Azuma Sports Park early in the morning yesterday. We also received similar information this morning.

“We couldn’t find or capture the bear, and while there won’t be any spectators at the stadium, we are on alert and searching for the bear around the site.”

The best play for the guards here is to lure him with a hot dog cart. Set it up right there on the river. Right on one of those dry spots. I’m talking Chicago dogs. Coney dogs. All the dogs. Trap the bear and take him back up into the mountains like 500 miles to the north where they don’t have hot dog carts.

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