My sister makes a habit of going after what's mine – this time it's my fiance | The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: MY sister has secretly been sending flirty, borderline sexual, texts to my fiancé – just like she did with my ex.

I should be looking forward to married life but I can’t help but feel hunted. I worry it’s only a matter of time before he starts to prefer her.

He’s 26 and has assured me this isn’t the case.

He told me that my sister started messaging him on Instagram and commenting on his photos. I have no reason to doubt him.

I am so hurt that my sister could do this to me, knowing how much I love this guy.

I’m struggling to trust her, particularly because her behaviour follows a familiar pattern.

When I was with my ex she repeatedly warned me off him saying he would hurt me, then as soon as we finished she started messaging him and asking to meet.

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Now she says it was my ex who contacted her first.

I don’t want to know the details but I know enough — they had a sexual fling that fizzled out after a couple of months.

I am 23 and my sister is 25. These are not the only times she has put our relationship under strain.

She also had a one-night stand with one of my best friends, someone I used to fancy when I was a teenager.

Again, she claimed he was the one who propositioned her, but this guy said my sister came on to him.

She’s always been this way, even at school, trying to hit on boys she knew I liked.

She has denied doing anything wrong and is very convincing when I speak to her but there have been so many similar scenarios now that I’m struggling to trust her.

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DEIDRE SAYS:  This is a classic case of sibling rivalry – your sister simply wants what you’ve got.

Feeling you are pitted against your brothers or sisters continues throughout adult life for many and, in some cases, that sense of competition only increases.

Is she jealous of you? Does she want attention?

Try to talk to her to find out what is at the heart of this.

You can’t control what she does, but you can control your reaction to it.

Don’t let her antics upset you.

Your fiancé sounds as if he has enough common sense to ignore her.

The best action is to concentrate on your relationship and in time your confidence will grow.

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