My late husband let his brother stay with us for a while…but now he won’t leave – The Sun

DEAR DEIDRE: MY late husband felt responsible for his brother and moved him in with us three years ago but then died of a heart attack six months ago.

Now it is just me in the house I want to move and have somewhere to myself.

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His family won’t help and I feel stuck with the brother-in-law. I am 59 and he is 63. He has always lived with family, never been married and has no friends or social life.

My husband said he could use our spare room thinking it would just be a temporary thing. He has two sisters and another brother who never visit him although they phone occasionally.

They imply I am being mean by wanting to move without him but I want to be near my daughter and grandchildren who live at the other end of the country.

I feel stuck but I simply don’t want to live with my brother-in-law any more. Am I being selfish?

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sure your brother-in-law’s family would rather you took on responsibility for him but, no, you’re not being selfish.

Have you raised the subject with your brother-in-law or has he never really taken adult responsibility for himself?

Has he been diagnosed with special needs?

Talk to his siblings. Don’t sound as if you are asking permission and be firm and clear that you are selling up and moving so they have to give him any support he needs.

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