Man warns about blowing up Home Depot with bowel movement, cops called

When you gotta go, you gotta go. And that’s something a Home Depot customer in Wichita, Kansas, knows all too well.

In a story that sounds like it could have been published by satirical site The Onion, an unnamed shopper caused a major incident at his local home improvement mega-store when he chose the wrong words to describe his intestinal discomfort.

According to KWCH, Home Depot staff called 911 after a customer reportedly told them that a man had just made a bomb threat in the bathroom. As it turns out, the man did make something of a threat, but not the kind that usually causes law enforcement to take notice.

“We just had a customer here made what may have been a bomb threat,” the caller reportedly told police dispatch.

“He said, uh, somebody told me there’s a bomb in here and you need to leave the building. He said it three times.”

That statement turned out to be a rather rough translation of what the supposed “bomber” actually said. A second witness later revealed that the man told other bathroom goers: “You all need to get out of here because I’m fixin’ to blow it up.”

Apparently, one of the individuals who heard the man’s warning felt the threat was serious enough to tip off store employees, and the call to the police quickly followed.

Officers quickly responded to the store, where they eventually located the man, who explained that the only danger he posed was to the bathroom stall.

You can’t fault anyone for erring on the side of caution, but this is clearly a humorous misunderstanding. That said, let this be a warning to all of you public bathroom visitors to keep your narration to yourself.

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