DEAR DEIDRE: MY best friend has been there for me through thick and thin and I’ve repaid her loyalty by having drunken sex with her husband.

I can’t believe I was so stupid and have felt awful ever since.

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I left my partner of ten years five months ago following years of his emotional abuse and controlling behaviour.

I couldn’t have done it without my friend’s constant support. She always makes time for me and is so thoughtful, which makes what I have done even worse.

I’m a 37-year-old female.

A couple of weekends ago we were all at my best friend’s home celebrating another friend’s engagement.

It was a big night and after hours of drinking everyone either left or went to bed and I was left alone with my mate’s husband.

My friend is 37 and her husband is 38.

We began clearing away the empty glasses and tidying up when he suddenly put his arm around my waist and pulled me towards him.

I could feel his warm breath against me. I looked up and he kissed me. I was shocked but also loved it. Trying to do the right thing,

I stepped back and got my coat, saying I had to go. He insisted on walking me home and as soon as I got the key in the door we were all over one another.

I grabbed him by the hand and led him upstairs.

We had sex in my bed – it was amazing to feel so desired again. He left straight afterwards and I fell asleep.

Waking up was sickening as I remembered what we’d done. I can’t eat, I feel sick and the guilt is killing me.

Now I’m terrified my friend will find out.

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I have since spoken to her husband. We agreed it was a mistake and that we wouldn’t tell anyone, but I’m terrified he may let it slip.

I hate myself and can’t concentrate on my work or anything.

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DEIDRE SAYS:  Your friend has been betrayed by the two people she should be able to trust the most.

There was no excuse for what you did but most of us make mistakes – it’s whether you learn from them that is important.

Weigh up what the chances are of your friend finding out and decide whether you’d sooner she heard about this from you or someone else.

If you decide it will be kept in the past, urge her husband to work on their relationship and watch out for your trigger points – alcohol probably. Make a firm decision to cut down.

Put it down to experience and promise yourself not to cheat again. My support pack Feeling Guilty? will help you.

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