How mum turned kind words she tells her children into a successful business
Mum-of-two Amel El Achkar knows all too well the painful impact being bullied as a child can have.
So the business development manager was determined her own children would never suffer as she did.
Amel, from Berkshire, has now turned the positive affirmations she uses on her own kids into a successful business that's used by both parents and professionals.
She has suffered from anxiety and depression since being bullied as a child – and as well as having therapy and hypnotherapy Amel had discovered using positive affirmations helped her to battle her negative thoughts and emotions.
So she decided to practice with her children Youssef, eight, and Leila, five, and she noticed a huge improvement in their moods – and the concept for Kind Words For Kids was born.
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Amel, who lives with husband Hesham, said: “Positive mental health has always been a struggle for me.
“It is only very recently that more people have started to open up publicly and talk about their experiences, from celebrities to friends on social media.
“That is what made me realise that I am not alone and that there is a need for more emotional support and connection.
“I developed these affirmation cards to equip children with the language and structure to talk about their experiences in a positive way.
“I found this gives them the confidence to better deal with day-to-day situations.
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"It also encourages a positive attitude and to always look for the positive in themselves and others.”
Amel, who grew up in Algeria with her parents and two sisters, first began to struggle with anxiety after being bullied at school for being “clever”.
Her family moved to London in 1992 to escape the civil war – but the bullying continued.
Amel said: “My ‘best friends’ stopped talking to me if I got better grades than them or if the teacher praised me. I struggled to fit in. I felt like I didn’t belong anywhere.”
Amel met Hesham at university and they married in 2009.
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In 2011 Amel fell pregnant with her son Youssef – but after a traumatic birth, she suffered with post-natal depression.
She said: “I never felt like a good enough mother, that more was always needed from me and I could never give it all. I suffered burnout.
“I carried on in this state for almost three years before going to the doctor. I was prescribed medication which numbed me.
"So I started therapy and came off the medicine.”
Amel fell pregnant again and the anxiety continued until Leila was born in 2014, and she says the birth “healed me”.
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But after falling into a second depression in late 2018, Amel knew she had to take action.
She added: “Through therapy and hypnotherapy, I discovered my insecurities came from school.
“I started to use affirmations to replace negative thoughts, telling myself the things I like about myself or others like about me.
"It helped and I had more reasons to feel positive.”
Amel decided to start using positive affirmations with her own children when they had bad days and she noticed a positive reaction.
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She said: “Using the affirmations helped us talk about our day and feeling in a constructive and positive way.
"When we talked about any issues they were having it was always in the spirit of finding solutions and learning to relate to others.
“We practice every day and I notice an improvement in my children’s moods. They seem more at ease.
“It also helps to open up conversations about things they may not have otherwise shared with me.
"Our conversations started to go beyond ‘how was your day?’ to which the answer was always ‘fine’.
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“For example, ‘who was kind to you today?’ ‘what did you do that made you feel strong?’ So it’s a little bit of an ice breaker too.”
After months of research, Amel, who speaks four languages, chose her favourite phrases – such as ‘I am loved and I am loveable’ and ‘I trust my inner voice’ – and had them illustrated for the cards.
She launched Kind Words For Kids in December 2019 and the first production run of 250 packs sold out within three weeks.
She said: “It was such a humbling feeling to know that my product was well received. It has been such a validating and encouraging experience.”
Amel also hopes the cards will allow busy parents to enjoy a moment of calm with their children.
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She said: “So much is asked of parents these days, there is less community support, parents work longer hours then they come home and most of them continue working on their phones all evening.
“The family connection suffers and children’s behaviour often deteriorates as a result, making parents want to spend less time with their kids.
“This is a way to reset all that by fostering connection through positivity, praise and mindfulness.”
The cards haven’t only been used by parents – but child counsellors and therapists, too.
Amel said: “Mental health starts in childhood. We need to be constantly filling our children with positive ideas and thoughts about themselves because today’s world is harsh and will break them down.
“Filling them with positive thoughts about themselves and others is like a security blanket or protective shield that will protect them from the negative images, stereotypes and pressures of the world.”
Dr Lucy Hughes, Clinical Psychologist from Mantle Psychology: “There is a lot of research that shows the crucial importance of positive praise on children’s development and how it influences their internal working model, which is how children learn to view themselves and the world.
"As a child clinical psychologist these cards are a welcome addition to my professional toolkit.
"I have already had positive feedback about the cards from families I have worked with.”
Kind Words For Kids are available for £15 via www.kindwordsforkids.com
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