How Beyoncé and Jay-Z Thrived After Scandal

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There was never any doubt that Beyoncéwould prove to be a survivor. No one was too concerned that she wouldn’t be able to bounce back from whatever career setback or marital infraction was thrown at her. She would have survived and thrived.

The same went for Jay-Z. He’s been a hip-hop-and-beyond mogul for decades and has amassed too much cachet in the music and business worlds to be threatened by just any old scandal. He would’ve been maligned, pretty fairly, as the root of all their troubles, and then eventually forgiven.

But there was plenty of doubt that Beyoncé and Jay-Z were going to come out on the other side together, their empire fully intact.

And yet here they are, celebrating their 11th wedding anniversary today, now parents of three and coming off a gratifying sequel to their wildly successful On the Run tour.

Wife, husband, Lemonade, 4:44, all their issues, all the drama, the sheer force of their indomitable connection—all there, on the stage!

The savvy couple winked at their checkered love story with their concert announcement last year, setting it to Marcia Aitken‘s “I’m Still in Love With You,” the soulful strains of the reggae tune a nod to their musical influences, the artists who helped pave the way for them and, of course, the not-too-long-ago speculation that Bey and Jay were about to go bust.

But despite the millions of records sold and dollars earned, the carefully orchestrated Instagram posts and the political activism, at the heart of the mega-brand they’ve been steadily building for the better part of two decades are two people who’ve reached the top of the mountain together, but who have also weathered heartache, loss and public embarrassment. They’re ultimately just two people trying to make it work—they just happen to be geniuses at spinning their most normal attributes into gold.

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From the beginning of their much-chronicled but still fairly mysterious relationship, Beyoncé and Jay-Z were applauded for, basically, not being ridiculous. For not hogging the tabloid headlines with bad behavior, such was very much in fashion among the young Hollywood set, and for not giving away too much—or anything at all—about their relationship. They couldn’t help the photographers who would eagerly greet them at events or follow them around on date nights, but their lips were sealed.

They first crossed paths when Beyoncé was about 18 and Jay-Z would have just turned 30, when Bey’s father and manager Matthew Knowles arranged for her to appear on 2000’s “I Got That” by Amil, who was on Jay’s Roc-A-Fella Records. They actually shared their first magazine cover (along with 10 other people, including Beck, a midriff-flashing Gwen Stefani and a perfectly hale David Bowie and Chris Cornell) in 2001, for Vanity Fair‘s music issue. They weren’t even on the same side of the fold.

Jay told VF in 2013 that he and Bey “were just beginning to try to date each other” when the cover was shot.

Though Bey has spent pretty much the entirety of her adult life devoted to Mr. Shawn “Jay-Z” Carter, she had a non-famous longtime boyfriend whom, unsurprisingly, she grew apart from as Destiny’s Child took off, and during her short window of singlehood she managed to be linked to everyone from Kobe Bryant to Mos Def to Nas, though she didn’t actually date any of them. 

In October 2001, Destiny’s Child and Jay-Z both played the post-9/11 “Concert for New York City” benefit at Madison Square Garden, and that’s reportedly where they finally had a real, face-to-face conversation for the first time. He asked for her number and they spent a few months talking on the phone.

“He’s nice,” Beyoncé said, according to J. Randy Taraborrelli’s 2015 biography Becoming Beyoncé, “but I don’t know…I’m not feelin’ him.” Apparently it was mom Tina Knowleswho encouraged her to at least give him a chance—one date and see what happens.

Jay brought a lengthier romantic history to the table, having dated the likes of Aaliyah and Rosario Dawson. But supposedly he was down for the count when he met Beyoncé.

“There was no rush—no one expected me to run off and get married,” Bey recalled to Seventeen in 2008. “I really don’t believe that you will love the same thing when you’re 20 as you do at 30. So that was my rule: Before the age of 25, I would never get married. I feel like you have to get to know yourself, know what you want, spend some time by yourself, and be proud of who you are before you can share that with someone else.”

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In 2002 they joined forces on “03 Bonnie and Clyde” (a precursor to their “on the run” theme), which ended up on Jay’s The Blueprint 2: The Gift and the Curse and Bey’s debut solo album, Dangerously in Love, and Jay was on her tracks “Crazy in Love” and “That’s How You Like It.”

Jay said that he first recruited Bey for “03 Bonnie and Clyde” “because I wanted a singer on the song, and I knew one who was exceptional.” He said matter-of-factly that their collaboration was mutually beneficial. “We exchanged audiences,” he said. “Her records are huge Top 40 records, and she helped ‘Bonnie and Clyde’ go to number one. What I gave her was a street credibility, a different edge.”

“I am trying to date, but there’s no one special,” Bey said in July 2002, according to the Jay-Z biography Empire State of Mind. “The crazy thing is everyone tries to hook me up with somebody. I’m scared and I didn’t want to go out with anybody for a long time.”

Asked if they were dating in real life, Jay told Playboy in 2003, “She’s beautiful. Who wouldn’t wish she was their girlfriend? Maybe one day.”

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But they were totally off to the races, regardless.

They were photographed in the South of France, bringing toys to kids in need on Christmas, courtside watching the Knicks, at the Vanity Fair Oscar party… They were an extraordinarily compelling low-key couple from day one.

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They finally made their red carpet debut at the 2004 MTV Video Music Awards (the same award show where Bey would memorably reveal her baby bump seven years later), confirming one of the lesser-kept secrets in Hollywood.

It really wasn’t until 2005, speaking to Vanity Fair, that Bey talked much about her feelings for Jay. 

Asked if she was as in love as she seemed in the “Crazy in Love” video with the rapper, she said, “Yes, it was very real. And when we did that video, everybody [looking at her] was like, ‘Who is that?’ Because for the first time I danced all the way. I let go.”

Beyoncé emphasized that their relationship was more than a mutually beneficial business partnership. “We give each other advice, but we respect each other’s business, and we don’t really get involved with that,” she said. “When I’m not working, I don’t want to talk about business. I don’t want to think about it. I want to turn my phone off.”

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When they did finally decide to get married, on April 4, 2008, they kept their New York nuptials as private a possible. They didn’t sell the pictures to a magazine. It would be about five years before Beyoncé decided to start sharing photos and videos from that night.

“What Jay and I have is real,” she told Essence in 2009. “It’s not about interviews or getting the right photo op. It’s real.” They opted for matching “IV” (4) tattoos on their fingers instead of wedding rings because “people put too much emphasis on that. It’s just material, and it’s just silly to me.”

About the common problem that afflicts so many busy couples, the newlywed told Marie Claire, “We try to sync our calendars. I started working on my tour a year ago just to make sure that I had time at home. But you know, that’s part of it. Any other woman who has to go to work and pick up the kids and make dinner—that’s way harder than what I have to do. At least I can say I’m taking two weeks off and really take two weeks off.”

Their first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, which Beyoncé later called “the saddest thing I’ve ever been through.” But they tried again and daughter Blue Ivy Carter was born on Jan. 7, 2012, forever making the point of the whole thing about family. Or so Beyoncé thought.

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On the album’s title track he raps, “Look, I apologize / Often womanize / Took for my child to be born to see through a woman’s eyes / Took for these natural twins to believe in miracles.” But before Blue was born in 2012, and the lid was blown off the Carter family’s secrets in May 2014, there was plenty of time to dirty the laundry.

On 2013’s “Mine,” Bey sang, “Been having conversations about breakups and separations / I’m not feeling like myself since the baby / Are we gonna even make it?”

She was also asserting herself more in the political arena, speaking up about issues plaguing her fellow women aside from flaky, commitment-phobic, deadbeat men. In the 2013 HBO film Beyoncé: Life Is But a Dream, she says, “I truly believe that women should be financially independent from their men. And let’s face it, money gives men the power to run the show. It gives men the power to define value. They define what’s sexy. And men define what’s feminine. It’s ridiculous.”

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