10 Wedding Speech Horror Stories That Will Leave You Speechless

What makes a good wedding speech? Most would agree it’s short and sweet, and packed with personal details about the couple’s unique bond, heartfelt wishes for the journey ahead of them, and perhaps even a touch of humor for some levity. If only they could all follow that basic formula, right? But there are so many ways a wedding speech can go south. I should know, after peeling through more than 100 wedding speech horror stories on Reddit.

I’ve also been a real-life witness to the potential for disaster when it comes to these speeches. As maid of honor at my best friend’s wedding last September, I gave a super sincere speech about how the bride and groom met, and how I played a role in their relationship early on. I peppered it with warm and fuzzy deets about the couple and a few inside jokes about Chicago pizza for good measure (you had to be there). After I passed the mic to the best man, he rattled on about the groom’s most humiliating tales from adolescence for about 25 minutes. “Did I do it wrong?” I asked my boyfriend. “No, everyone loved it,” he said. "Ragging on the groom is just par for the course in a best man’s speech.” The look on the bride’s face said it all: woof. Apparently, there’s a very good reason that nearly half of all brides fear the best man’s speech, according to Komo News.

To be clear, a bad wedding speech can be delivered by a bridesmaid, the mother of the groom, or even grandma. It can be totally harmless, such as when the speaker’s nerves get the best of them, or they ramble on a tad too long. Warning: That is not what these cringe-worthy stories are about. These are the kind of wedding speeches that leave you, well, speechless.

"Oops!"

— TwoMiddleFingersUp

#CreepFactor

— a-little-sleepy

Awkward AF

— Petronella23

Poorly Timed Mic Probs

— Laura, 28

The "F" Word

— Jeff, 30

Blame It On The Alcohol

— Stenodactylus

#TMI

— petmyeyebrows

Narcissism Strikes Again

— notjawn

Yikes X 10

— LiterallyOuttoLunch

Classic Mixup

— Lighter_Klepto

Moral of the story is, you pretty much never know what you’re going to get with wedding speeches. Ideally, some of the speakers will have given their toasts some thought — and resisted over indulging in the open bar. Unfortunately, the unpredictability factor means you’ll also get a few wild cards that make inappropriate jokes or call one of the newlyweds by the wrong name. If it’s your wedding, the best thing you can do is try to keep your sense of humor — and if you’re the one giving the speech, heed Owen Wilson’s wise advice to Rachel McAdams in the legendary rom-com Wedding Crashers: Rather than trying to make them laugh, hit them in the feels.

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