10 compliments you can give that aren’t based on appearance

Written by Lauren Geall

As Stylist’s digital writer, Lauren Geall writes on topics including mental health, wellbeing and work. She’s also a big fan of houseplants and likes to dabble in film and TV from time-to-time.

This Random Acts Of Kindness Day (17 February), brighten someone’s day with one of these unique compliments that aren’t based on what they look like. 

For a surprisingly small gesture, compliments can have a big impact. Whether you’re complimenting a friend, family member or co-worker, giving someone a compliment can boost their mood for the rest of the day. And compliments don’t just have a positive impact on the receiver; studies have shown that acts of kindness and altruism can help the giver to feel happier and increase their life satisfaction.

While you may be inclined to believe that giving a compliment is a pretty easy business – after all, who can’t conjure up one nice thing to say about someone – it’s not always as straightforward as it seems. 

For example, calling a friend “pretty” or “beautiful” may seem like a nice thing to do, but it’s a lot more complicated than that. The fact of the matter is that when we spend a lot of time talking about an aspect or quality of someone – and praising them for that thing – we send a message that that subject is important.

The same can be said for complimenting someone on weight loss; while it may seem harmless to tell someone they’re looking good, comments that focus on someone’s physique suggest that their body – and the way it looks – is the most important part about them. And that’s just not true. 

The crux of the issue is this: no one can change their genetics. When we compliment people for their looks – whether that’s their weight, skin or facial features – we’re congratulating them for something they played absolutely zero role in creating and have no control over.

So this Random Acts Of Kindness Day (17 February), why not compliment your friends for the things that make them them. From praising someone for being positive to admiring their talents, here are 10 ways to give someone a compliment without bringing appearance into the equation. 

  • 1. “You are so much fun to be around”

  • 2. “You are so talented at …”

  • 3. “You’ve really changed my perspective on…”

  • 4. “You inspire me because…”

  • 5. “You brighten my day”

  • 6. “You have great taste in…”

  • 7. “You are an invaluable member of this team/friendship group”

  • 8. “You’re such a great listener”

  • 9. “I admire how passionate you are about…”

  • 10. “You empower me to…”

This article was originally published on 9 February but has been updated throughout.

Images: Getty

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