I went through the menopause at 29 – but had a miracle baby using £23k IVF and a sperm donor – The Sun

June 14, 2019

MATERNAL Stacey Burgerman had spent her whole life dreaming of becoming a mum.

But the nursery nurse had suffered an early menopause and was convinced that she might never have children of her own.

But six months ago, the 35 year-old from Illford, Essex gave birth to baby Sofia after spending £23,000 on IVF treatment.

Stacey says: “I never believed it would happen. Now Sofia is here and I can hold my own baby in my arms, it’s like winning the lottery.

“IVF has cost £23k but to me she is utterly priceless. She really has made my dreams come true.”

When Stacey first began suffering mood swings, irregular periods and weight gain at 19 years old, it was put down to teenage hormones.

But as her symptoms worsened in her late 20s, her mum recognised them as menopausal and took her to the doctor.

Aged 29, tests confirmed that Stacey was in premature menopause.

She says: “I was shocked and upset, but everything made sense at last so it was a relief to have an answer.

“I love kids and always wanted to be a mother so my biggest fear was my fertility. I needed to find out how far into the menopause I was to see if it was still possible for me to conceive.”

WHAT IS PREMATURE MENOPAUSE?

Early menopause tends to refer to women go through 'the change' before they're 45.

If your periods stop before that, it might be down to natural causes or as a side effect of medication.

Cancer treatments can cause premature menopause, as can surgery, certain diseases, and premature ovarian failure.

Symptoms can include:

periods becoming infrequent or stopping altogether
hot flushes
night sweats
vaginal dryness
difficulty sleeping
low mood
low libido
concentration/memory difficulties

Treatments can include HRT or the combined contraceptive pill.

Going through early menopause can put you at risk from things like osteoporosis and cardiovascular disease, because of the lowered oestrogen levels.

So if you do think you're going through early menopause, it's crucial that you receive professional support.

But in January 2014 it was confirmed that her menopause was so advanced she could not have children.

She says: “It was like a bomb had gone off. I was broken. Just seeing my brother with his children was physically painful.

“I had to leave a children’s party once because I just broke down seeing my friends with their kids.

“I do have a very special bond with my nieces as I thought they would be the closest thing to having my own.

My honesty about wanting a baby immediately put men off –I felt completely lost

“I always hoped IVF was an option, but because I was still single – and my honesty about wanting a baby immediately put men off –I felt completely lost.”

Stacey decided to make the decision to go it alone.

She says: “I had to at least try. I never imagined being a single mother but I knew the yearning I had for a baby would never leave me.”

She did not qualify for NHS funding so using her life savings she started private IVF treatment.

Eventually she decided on a sperm donor from the US and a British egg donor.

Stacey says: “This was important because I felt that by using an American donor it was less likely my child would bump into a ‘sibling’ without realising.

“Browsing the website for a donor was almost like looking at a dating app. I had to ‘swipe’ for the features I was most interested in.

“Most important to me was the donor’s health. I also wanted a donor with an ‘open door’ so my child could look into their ancestory if they ever wanted to.”

In January 2018, four embryos were created and one implanted into Stacey’s womb, while the other three were frozen.

But the first attempt failed. She says: “I knew deep down that it hadn’t worked so it wasn’t huge shock.

“I allowed myself a day to wallow, but then it was time to get up and get on with things.”

One month later, the second attempt failed and it was a big blow for Stacey.

“I sat on the bathroom floor for an hour crying, wondering if my body was telling me that it just couldn’t do this,” she says.

“I didn’t want to tell my family I had failed again. I felt like I had let everyone down, especially myself.”

She had another embryo implanted in April 2018, expecting it to fail again but hoping this would be the one.

Feeling sick and tearful at work, Stacey took an early pregnancy test and saw the faint blue line appear.

She says: “I just started crying and shaking.

“I was in shock because I couldn’t believe it was really happening to me. It sounds dramatic but it was like an out of body experience.”

As her friends threw her a baby shower, Stacey’s dream was becoming a reality.

IVF POST MENOPAUSE

With the help of an egg donor menopausal women are still able to get pregnant.

The American Journal of Perinatologyfollowed 101 women over the age of 50 who underwent IVF with donor eggs and found that the outcomes for both mothers and babies were as good for the post-menopausal women as they were for women under the age of 42.

IVF involves removing an egg from a woman’s ovaries and fertilising them using sperm in a laboratory.

The fertilised egg, also known as an embryo, is transferred back into a woman’s womb to grow. The process can use eggs and sperm from the couple themselves, or these can be sourced from a donor.

There are six main stages of IVF:

Firstly the menstrual cycle will be suppressed with medication
You will be given further medication to encourage your ovaries to produce more eggs
Ultrasound scans will be given to check the development of your eggs and medication can be used to help the maturing process
The eggs will be collected by a needle being inserted into the ovaries via the vagina
Eggs are mixed with sperm for a few days so they can be fertilised
One or two of the fertilised embryos will be placed back into the womb.

Women need to wait two weeks before taking a pregnancy test to see if the process has been successful.

The success rate can depend on a number of factors, including the age of the woman and the cause of their infertility (if it has been determined). The younger the woman, the more likely it is that IVF will be successful, and factors such as avoiding alcohol, caffeine and smoking can improve your chances too.

In 2010, the percentage of women who had IVF and later had a live birth were:

32.2 per cent for women under 35
27.7 per cent for women aged 35-37
20.8 per cent for women aged 38-39
13.6 per cent for women aged 40-42
5 per cent for women aged 43-44
1.9 per cent for women aged over 44

In December 2018, Stacey felt her baby’s movements slow down and she was admitted to hospital for observation.

The following day, at 36 weeks pregnant, she underwent an emergency C section.

Stacey says: “It was the 4th of December, my mum’s birthday, and I remember all the nurses singing to her as they wheeled me down to theatre.

“Sofia was born at 3.52pm and as soon as I heard her cry I turned to my mum and said: ‘I am now complete.’”

Sofia spent the first 48 hours in the special care unit on oxygen to help her breathing, but at three days old was discharged home.

Now, six months in, Stacey is loving motherhood, despite going it alone.

She says: “I don’t think of myself as a single parent. The love and support I have around me makes me feel like I’m not doing this alone.

“There are times when I see children with both parents and wonder if that will have a negative effect on Sofia, but then I look at her and know the love I have for makes up for it.

“I’m so very fortunate and I want to use my story to give hope to others.

“When you are battling fertility issues, the build-up to Mother’s Day can be particularly tough. I used to dread it.

“The path to motherhood is not always the one you might expect, but I’m so very glad it took me to Sofia.”

In other real life news, a woman has revealed how she donated her uterus to a woman who desperately wanted to become a mum.

And this photo of a mum in agony moments after giving birth hits a nerve with parents.

Source: Read Full Article