I was robbed of my fertility at 27 after aggressive ovarian cancer left me needing a hysterectomy… but I'm still determined to be a mum
The primary school teacher from London was diagnosed with aggressive ovarian cancer and required a hysterectomy which would wipe out her fertility.
Now two years in remission, Laura is determined to fulfill her dreams of having a family – here she shares her moving story with Fabulous Digital…
When the consultant told me the bloated tummy, back pain and exhaustion I’d been experiencing was down to cancer in my ovaries, I didn’t think about my fertility.
I heard the word “chemo” and thought simply of my hair.
Would it all fall out? Going bald was a more immediate fear than the enormity of never having my own child.
Anyway, the key thing at this point – the consultant reiterated – was to survive the treatment.
I was 27 and my ovaries were riddled with cancer so harvesting eggs to freeze pre-chemo was out of the question.
There was no time. I had the most aggressive female cancer there is so by the end of the 30-minute meeting the decision was made.
My first cycle of chemotherapy started three days later and, as I felt the cool, poisonous liquid travel into my veins, I went into survival mode, thinking only of survival.
I had tested positive for the BRCA1 gene mutation in 2015, so I knew I was high risk for breast and ovarian cancer, but the latter tends to affect women over 45 so the focus had always been on my breasts, with regular check-ups every six months.
And yet here I was, being told my hysterectomy was going to include removing my cervix, fallopian tubes, ovaries, womb, two-thirds of my diaphragm, most of my peritoneum (the lining that covers the organs inside your abdomen) as well as some cancerous bits sitting on my liver and bowel.
If the chemotherapy hadn’t already wiped out my fertility, this operation certainly would.
WE PAY FOR YOUR STORIES!
Fabulous Online is always on the lookout for jaw-dropping, tear-jerking and heart-wrenching stories to feature.
Join our Facebook group or email us to make £££s by sharing your story.
At the time I was teaching at a primary school in North London and, like most single 20-somethings, having children wasn’t on my radar.
But now I was suddenly forced to think about it, simply because the choice was being taken away. I was never going to know what it was like to be pregnant and that was devastating.
But utmost in my mind was simply wanting to live. My family and friends were amazing, allowing me to talk about my fears and loss but their biggest kindness to me was treating me just the same, never avoiding the subject of pregnancy or babies.
After the operation I was plunged into the menopause. I couldn’t sleep, alternating between sweating under the covers then shivering without them.
I’d compare symptoms with other menopausal female relations in their 50s, joking how I was a young person trapped in an old woman’s body.
But beneath the laughter I struggled. Some days I was too exhausted to move from bed and my bones and joints ached so much they couldn’t bear my weight.
I had to keep reminding myself my body was in this state for a reason – it had saved my life.
When I was well enough I had another three cycles of chemotherapy to make sure every trace of “Cyril” (my name for my cancer) was obliterated.
Over time, I began to accept I didn’t need to give birth to be a mother. I started watching adoption videos, seeing babies being lifted into tearful couples’ arms or a grin splitting a child’s face while enclosed in a hug by new parents.
It gave me hope knowing families could be constructed in all sorts of ways provided there was one ingredient – love.
In November 2016 I heard that magic word: remission.
I wrote about it on my blog and a guy called Alex messaged me, asking if I wanted to meet.
We had friends in common and I knew he’d been diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin lymphoma in his early twenties.
When we met for a coffee we didn’t stop chatting. He was six years cancer-free but he totally got it, the worrying about every twinge for fear the cancer had returned, the sadness at losing your fertility – chemotherapy had made him sterile at 22.
I was still having maintenance chemotherapy treatment and he’d come with me, keeping me calm, knowing how it felt.
What are ovarian cancer’s signs and symptoms?
Ovarian cancer affects the ovaries, which are a small pair of organs located in the female pelvic cavity.
They are an important part of the female reproductive system as they connect to the womb and store eggs.
If you have ovarian cancer, cells in or around your ovaries start to grow abnormally which can lead to tumours.
Ovarian cancer may affect one or both of your ovaries, and there are several types that can affect women of all ages.
Many symptoms of ovarian cancer are hard to recognise as they are similar to conditions such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).
Others have mistakenly thought that the swelling is a result of pregnancy.
Things to look out for include:
- A swollen stomach
- Feeling bloated constantly
- Needing to urinate frequently
- Discomfort in your tummy or pelvic area
- Feeling full quickly when eating
The treatment for ovarian cancer depends on the type and how far spread it is.
Common treatments are:
- Surgery – This is done to remove the cancerous cells from the body. Often this can involve removing both ovaries, the fallopian tubes and the womb.
- Chemotherapy – This is often done after surgery to kill any remaining cells, using medicine. Sometimes it can be used as a method to shrink cancer before surgery.
If the cancer has spread too far around the body, the aim of treatment will be to help reduce symptoms and to control the cancer as much as possible.
A number of things can increase your risk from ovarian cancer, including:
- Age – Women older than 50 have a greater risk
- Family history – If ovarian or breast cancer runs in the family you could have inherited genes that make you more at risk
- Weight – If you are overweight you may be more susceptible
- Conditions – If you have endometriosis, where tissue that behaves like the lining of the womb grows outside the womb area, this can increase your chance. If you have had hormone replacement therapy (HRT), there is a very small chance this can increase your risk.
We had so much in common – not just cancer, but also our love of food, theatre and swimming. We fell in love and, after 18 months, he asked me to marry him. It was a no-brainer.
We talked about our dreams of having a family with ease. Adoption was always something Alex had wanted to do, so the idea that we could pursue it together became an exciting focus.
I’m two years in remission now and there is a preventative double mastectomy on the cards – to get rid of the breasts that might one day kill me – but we’re talking seriously about adoption.
We might have lost our fertility to cancer but we’re hoping to gain something incredible one day very soon.
Read Laura’s blog at findingcyril.com.
We previously told how a woman was fat-shamed by her GP – after he failed to diagnose her ovarian cancer.
Source: Read Full Article