Driven to suicide and shaking under the Christmas tree alone… brave women share what it's like to battle depression at Christmas

 

'I spent Christmas Day shaking under the tree'

She says: "Christmas is the time of year people like me dread the most – in fact, I refused to celebrate it for 13 years. I split up from my husband in 2002 and I lost custody of our daughter after I suffered a mental breakdown.

I'd bought a tree to try to make things seem normal. But December 25 took on a new meaning.

I wished there was someone there to comfort me, but I wasn't close to my family and didn't have many friends. Watching people buying presents and preparing for Christmas left me feeling so alone.

I’ve lost count of the number of Christmases I spent staring vacantly at the wall. Each year I’d go to bed on Christmas Eve and hope I wouldn’t wake up

Each year I'd go to bed on Christmas Eve and hope I wouldn't wake up. The only thing stopping me from actually trying to kill myself was that I wanted to be there for my daughter.

YOU'RE NOT ALONE

It doesn't discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.

It's the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes. And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.

Yet, it's rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.

That is why The Sun has launched the You're Not Alone campaign, to remind anyone facing a tough time, grappling with mental illness or feeling like there's nowhere left to turn, that there is hope.

The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.

Let's all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others. You're Not Alone.

For a list of support services available, please see the Where To Get Help box below.

A few years ago, I met someone new and we moved to Shanghai.

This helped me gain some perspective – realising parents around the world are without their children from circumstances out of their control.

This year, I'm having my whole family over and I can't wait.

‘After trying to kill myself, I spiralled into the depths of an eating disorder’

I felt really low, like I couldn't see a future.

So I took a bunch of pills I'd been hiding in my drawer.

SUICIDE WATCH 10 signs your loved one could be at risk of suicide… from drinking too much to struggling to sleep

I couldn't get excited about anything and while everyone around me was happily singing Christmas songs, I wanted to fast forward to January.

When I was feeling down, I’d hurt myself and it felt good for a while – but one day it stopped working and I decided I’d be better off dead

Over that Christmas week, things got worse.


Suicide in Britain – the tragic facts

  • 1 in 15 adults in England have attempted suicide
  • 3 out of 4 deaths by suicide are men
  • Suicide is the biggest killer of men under 50
  • Suicide is the biggest killer of women aged 20 to 34
  • Suicide is the leading cause of death for people under 35
  • People diagnosed with a mental health disorder are 5 to 15 times more likely to die by suicide
  • Unemployed people are 2.5 times more likely to die by suicide than employed
  • Low-skilled male labourers, particularly in construction, have a 3 times higher risk of suicide
  • Prisoners are up to 10 times more likely to die by suicide
  • Young people who have been sexually abused are 8 times more likely to attempt suicide
  • Gay and bisexual men are 4 times more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual men
  • Around 26% of young women have self-harmed
  • 1 in 7 deaths of new mothers is by suicide
  • Homeless people are 5 times more likely to die by suicide

I wasn't trying to lose weight, but even when offered my favourite pigs in blankets I refused. I didn't think I deserved them.


SPOT THE SIGNS It's NOT just weight loss! The signs of anorexia and bulimia you need to know

'My husband's cheating drove me to the brink of suicide'

I couldn't keep anything down and over the next few weeks my weight dropped to 5st.


BEING BRAVE One man reveals what living with depression is REALLY like – and how he 'kicked the invisible beast in the balls'

I found out he'd been cheating on me – and as he walked out on me, I looked at the packets of pills in my medicine box and thought: 'What do I have to live for now?'.

I thought how easy it would be to just take them all at once and sink into oblivion.

I sat playing with them for a while and then realised that I would just be making it easy for my husband. He didn't want me anymore and if I died, it was the perfect escape for him.

He would get sympathy, poor wife couldn't cope with her illness and no one would probably ever know he was sleeping around.

They made me see that nothing that had happened to me was my fault.

They helped me make the decision to move in with a friend and I went back to my GP who referred me for therapy.

WHERE TO GET HELP

If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:

  • Beat, www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk, 0808 801 0667
  • CALM, www.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585 858
  • Heads Together, www.headstogether.org.uk
  • Hector's House, www.hectorshouse.org.uk
  • Mind, www.mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393
  • Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 068 41 41
  • Samaritans, www.samaritans.org, 116 123

 

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