Jussie Smollett Pleaded Not Guilty To 16 Felony Charges

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Jussie Smollett has entered a plea of not guilty on felony charges that he lied to police about his attack, and I want to believe him. I’m the sucker who’s still holding out hope that a tape of some actual racist homophobes whooping on Jussie’s ass will miraculously fall out of some Chicago PD officer’s pocket in front of a TMZ camera or something. Look, I said I was a sucker.

A Chicago grand jury was not fucking around when they indicted Jussie. They threw the motherfucking book at him, and while it was flying at his head, every single page reached out and gave him a paper cut. Though he was originally charged with one breezy sounding felony disorderly conduct charge, he’s now facing 16 counts for allegedly lying to the police. That’s one count for each individual lie he allegedly told over the course of 2 interviews with police. According to NPR, “each count carries a possible penalty of up to three years in prison”, which would be 48 years. According to The Hollywood Reporter, his legal team called the charges “redundant and vindictive”, or in layman’s terms, petty as hell.

Here’s Jussie walking into the courtroom looking like he’s in a Muslim Brotherhood simulation in The Matrix .

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