VINE: Why are ministers invading our phones with a tiresome alert?

SARAH VINE: Why are ministers invading our phones with a tiresome emergency alert – yet ignoring the threat that could wipe out humanity?

This Sunday, at 3pm, just as most of us are settling down for a post-prandial nap, the Government intends to rattle our collective cages by invading our mobile phones — and our privacy — with its absurd emergency test signal.

Broadly reminiscent of those sirens in 1960s Cold War movies — where the hero finally claws his way out of the gulag with a toothpick, only to be captured and strung up by his toes — the notion is as terrifying as it is tiresome.

Tiresome because you can’t opt out of the damn thing — well, not unless you disable the notification or turn off your phone — and because 3pm on Sunday is about the only time any of us gets to relax these days.

And terrifying because it’s a reminder of the tyranny imposed on all of us by the technology that has invaded our homes like Japanese knotweed, infiltrating every aspect of our daily lives, making itself indispensable while becoming increasingly insidious.

Like the NHS’s hated ‘Test and Trace’ app (confession: I never downloaded it), this ’emergency alert’ system has ostensibly been developed for our own protection.

This Sunday, at 3pm, just as most of us are settling down for a post-prandial nap, the Government intends to rattle our collective cages by invading our mobile phones — and our privacy — with its absurd emergency test signal

It’s terrifying because it’s a reminder of the tyranny imposed on all of us by the technology that has invaded our homes like Japanese knotweed, infiltrating every aspect of our daily lives, making itself indispensable while becoming increasingly insidious, writes Sarah Vine

But in reality, it’s just another example of the micro-chipping away of our privacy and autonomy: another attempt by the Government and its agencies to monitor and manipulate us via the all-seeing eye that now controls our lives — the smartphone.

They already know where we shop, what we eat, how much we spend, where we go — and now they plan to take control of our emotions by randomly scaring the Yorkshire puds out of us for no discernible reason.

Because, after all, what can this thing tell us that we can’t already get on the news? And what can we — or for that matter the Government — realistically do about any of these so-called ’emergencies’ they’ll be warning us about?

SARAH VINE: Next month’s Coronation must be about the King and Queen, not the Sussexes’ family dramas 

Let’s face it, they can’t even control the nursing unions. So what hope have they got against Mother Nature?

And besides, human beings are supposedly quite an intelligent species. I think we know to stay indoors in the event of an imminent nuclear strike, or abnormally large hailstones. And if we don’t — well, that’s our choice. Call it free will, call it natural selection; but governments have no right to invade the private lives of citizens in this way.

However, perhaps the most frustrating thing about this emergency alert nonsense is that it ignores a genuine threat to our lives, one the Government appears to be completely oblivious to — despite the fact it poses a far greater risk to humanity than anything Vladimir Putin can throw at us. I’m talking about AI. Or, more specifically, AGI.

AI stands for Artificial Intelligence. AGI is Artificial General Intelligence, which is next-level stuff. Crudely speaking, the former merely emulates the human brain — the latter has the capacity to far supersede it.

Within the tech industry, this is what’s known as ‘God-like AI’: a super-intelligent system with the ability to learn and evolve independently, and capable of responding to and manipulating its environment without the need for human supervision.

AI poses a far greater risk to humanity than anything Vladimir Putin can throw at us, writes Sarah Vine

This kind of AI not only has the ability to replace humans in ways that we are already witnessing, it also has the potential to eliminate the need for us altogether. And it is already doing so. From brands using AI-generated fashion models instead of real ones (as highlighted in yesterday’s Mail) to AI-generated photographs duping the judges of a major arts prize, this technology is already blurring the boundaries between what is real and what is not.

And OI — organic intelligence, aka humans — increasingly looks surplus to requirements.

There is nothing new, of course, in the idea of the human race becoming so advanced it ends up destroying itself. But until recently, this has seemed like the preserve of science fiction. Not any more.

And it is, of course, our very humanity that threatens to be our downfall. Humans are hot-blooded, imperfect, fallible: we possess complex emotions.

But AI is cold, perfect, infallible. It’s never tired or emotional, it doesn’t ask for sick days, it never misses the bus or sleeps in, it won’t burst into tears if you say the wrong thing. It’s not lustful, greedy and wasteful or silly, soppy and romantic.

It may appear human, even act human, but it doesn’t possess a heart. At the end of the day, it’s just maths.

It will look at the human race and, perhaps correctly, judge itself to be a more efficient alternative. And if we let it, it will do what it’s designed to do: fix the problem. Fix us.

It’s already doing it, and it’s doing so because we’re asking it to, and giving it more and more power over our lives: fix the way we look; fix our spelling errors and grammatical slip-ups; make us look younger, cleverer, more efficient.

OI — organic intelligence, aka humans — increasingly looks surplus to requirements. Pictured: Skynet – an AI system which turned on humans in Terminator 2

But there is a difference between technology that enhances the human experience and something that renders us obsolete. And that is what more and more people in the world of AI are now saying could happen.

From Elon Musk, who warns that AI, if left unchecked, has the power to destroy civilisations, to the co-founder of Apple, Steve Wozniak, the message is unequivocal: it’s time everyone pressed pause on this particular project.

These are not technophobes who oppose progress. These are experts, trailblazers in the field. And when even the head of Google, Sundar Pichai, admits he doesn’t ‘fully understand’ how the company’s AI system Bard managed to teach itself Bengali without being prompted or programmed to do it, that is truly terrifying.

When Pichai adds that no one fully understands how it works, save to say that the thing possesses what he calls ’emergent properties’ — in other words, the capacity to act independently, according to its own will — then that’s not just a red flag, it’s a full-on air-raid siren.

God-like AI, you say? Sounds more like the Apocalypse to me.

Even Elon Musk (pictured) warns that AI, if left unchecked, has the power to destroy civilisations

And yet so far, to my knowledge, no one in government has even raised this as a serious threat. Too busy, apparently, developing some stupid alarm system designed to ruin our Sunday afternoon while ignoring the gigantic firestorm coming our way.

This is not the Cold War. We don’t need sirens warning us of impending catastrophe. Our biggest threat isn’t from a far-away foreign power: it’s from the thing on the end of our USB chargers.

Time to wake up and smell the lithium, guys. Before it’s too late.

If medical student Eilidh Garrett, who lives in Manchester, is in any way representative of her colleagues, no wonder junior doctors are demanding a 35 per cent pay rise.

The 26-year-old, who has been a vocal supporter of the BMA and has attacked the Government on social media for its ‘lack of moral decency’, was unable to join picket lines last week because she was undergoing liposuction on her thighs and abdomen. Moral decency? Do me a favour.

My quiche fit for a Queen 

Many moons ago, before I was married, I was entertaining a young gentleman friend (let’s call him Michael Gove) for dinner.

In a vague attempt to illustrate my domestic goddess credentials, I produced a Nigella Lawson-inspired quiche Lorraine.

He contemplated it for a few seconds then asked, somewhat waspishly, whether this was my way of getting him to take me out for supper. I was reminded of this by the news that the official dish of the Coronation is . . . a quiche.

King Charles III and the Queen Consort have shared a recipe for ‘Coronation Quiche’

Proof that real men (or real Kings) do eat quiche? Or just further evidence that Queen Camilla wears the ermine trousers in our beloved monarch’s marriage?

Either way, I shall certainly be adding Quiche LaReine to my culinary repertoire.

Don’t all rush at once, chaps.

Having been a lifelong Marmite lover, I finally realise why. A Channel 4 documentary has lifted the lid on how the black gold is made — and it turns out it’s basically beer. 

So that explains it: I’ve been having booze on toast for breakfast for the past 50 years. Cheers! 

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