My partner has been paying hundreds of pounds to online sex-chat sites and I feel hurt

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner has been paying hundreds of pounds to an online sex-chat service.

He’s 82 and I’m 80. We’ve been together for ten years and we have always had a great sex life but every time I went out recently I’d come back to my partner quickly closing his laptop.

We’ve watched pornography together so I knew it couldn’t be that. He finally admitted he was going on one of these sex-chat sites. He’s admitted that he’d have said yes if any of these girls had agreed to meet him.

He’s trying to make amends but I keep finding out more details he’s hidden from me and I can’t watch him 24/7. I feel like he has cheated on me and I’m so hurt and shocked.

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Send an email to [email protected].

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DEIDRE SAYS:  Be very clear with your partner that this isn’t just about moral outrage but a totally justified feeling that he has cheated on you.

It may be online but he has been focusing his sexual feelings outside your relationship. How would he feel if you did that?

Insist that he takes any password protection off his laptop and phone and that they are open for you to look at.

My e-leaflet Standing Up For Yourself explains how to be assertive.

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