Hi, 'Bachelorette' Hannah Brown's Ex-Boyfriends Are Very, Very Hot
Please grab some rose petals, frolic gleefully in them, and put on the not-Grammy-winning rap “Right Reasons” by Desiree Hartsock because The Bachelorette is coming. Like so many lost souls before her, Hannah Brown is moments away from finding love in a hopeless place (Bachelor Mansion, duh)—as in, she’s gonna enter a polyamorous relationship with approximately three dozen strange men, all of whom want to marry her. It’s totally normal and fine, don’t even worry about it!
But before we join hands and follow Hannah on her sure-to-be-horrifying love journey filled with shirtless men and alarming amounts of spray tan, let’s take a look at her Ghosts of Boyfriends Past. In other words, the dudes she used to date before being crowned ABC’s next victim Bachelorette.
Colton Underwood
Duh. Hannah first came into our lives thanks to being on Colton’s season of The Bachelor, where she clawed her way into his heart only to get rejected. Colton broke up with Hannah right before Hometown Dates (where the Bachelor picks several lucky women to introduce to his parents), and yes, she was pissed.
To quote: “That is not what I want, so honestly I’m f*cking pissed. I don’t think his actions and his words really add up. You know, he says he wants somebody that challenges him, that is spontaneous, makes him laugh, is funny, has depth, heart, can be themselves completely, be honest. I don’t know who it’s gonna be if not me.”
Totally fair considering Colton broke up with her on a romantic date, right after telling her how beautiful she looked and forcing her to explain exactly why she was falling in love with him. Ugh.
Warning, this video is brutal. I genuinely feel like he’s breaking up with me.
Austin Williams
Pre-Colton, Hannah was dating a hottie with a body named Austin Williams. He popped up on her IG in summer 2016 looking all kindsa fine.
Like, sorry, but Colton WHO?
These two even went to Disney Land together:
And seem to have dated until summer 2017. Or, at least that’s the last time he showed up on her Instagram (swipe!).
Brandon Hall
Based on Hannah’s social media, Brandon was her most serious relationship prior to Colton. These two literally were each other’s prom dates in 2013, and stayed together for three years after that. They appear to have broken up around 2016, but look how cute!
Here’s a photo dump of their happier/super loved-up times!
It’s unclear if Brandon will show up on The Bachelorette, but you KNOW how much ABC loves stirring the pot with ex-boyfriend drama, so it’s not out of the question.
Mystery Dude
Before Brandon, Hannah appears to have been (maybe?) dating a mystery dude who’s no longer on Instagram. Who are you, friend? And are you single?
Anyway, that’s all, have fun with your thirst!
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