My late husband's ex-girlfriend paid for his funeral and won't give us his ashes

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my ex-husband died, his new girlfriend took charge of the funeral and paid all the bills. They gave her his ashes, though she only knew him for two years.

We were married for 12 years and had three lovely girls, now in their teens. I am 45. We got divorced six years ago and I was glad he found a new love.

Then his girlfriend messaged saying he’d died. The funeral was that week. He was 47. My daughters felt shut out. This girlfriend just gave them his books.

That was two years ago. We asked for his ashes – and his parents asked too.

But she says the ashes will stay with her until someone pays the funeral costs. That’s something his parents and I are refusing to do.

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TWO out of three under-18s feel lonely and social media is no substitute for face-to-face friendships and relationships.

My e-leaflet Teens Guide To Socialising has helpful ideas. For a copy, email me or send me a private message on my Facebook page.

DEIDRE SAYS: How sad there is resentment and pain between all those your ex-husband loved.

Let go of your anger and try to understand this girlfriend’s viewpoint.

Arranging a funeral is painful and doesn’t come cheap. Could you and your in-laws repay her a share of the costs?

That might help her listen to you.

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