Meghan Markle is being a birth 'brat' and I love her for it
I’m not stupid. I, like most women, realise that labour isn’t generally a fun experience. But is it really so unreasonable to expect decent treatment?
Much of the commentary around Meghan Markle’s birth has centered on her being ‘ungrateful’ for the top tier care she has been offered, and critics have even dubbed her a ‘brat’.
If being a ‘brat’ is how you get full control of how you give birth, then sign me up. I’m delighted to be a birth ‘brat’.
If you are not a birth ‘brat’, then your chances of getting the birth you want and deserve are pretty low.
Women are entitled to elective c-sections. They have the right to refuse induction, and to demand as much or as little pain relief as is safe to take.
Women should also have the right to give birth without experiencing birth rape.
What is birth rape?
Birth rape, or obstetric violence, is the term for when a woman is subjected to a non consensual vaginal examination during labour.
The term was first used legally in Venezuela, when it was brought into legislation in 2007 to protect women giving birth. Within two years Argentina followed suit, with Mexico doing the same in 2014 – yet no such law exists in the UK.
Jodie Gibbons, who experienced obstetric violence described her experience to The Sun, saying ‘I begged the doctor to stop doing my vaginal exam, but he just ignored me. So I asked again, then again and even kicked at him to stop, but he wouldn’t.’
What does it say about the state of birth in the UK that I’m not even pregnant yet, and I’m already worried about how I’m going to be treated by the medical professionals who handle my labour?
I’ve already started coaching my husband on how to tell a doctor that I don’t want an internal examination, and read up on my legal rights to a caesarean or to resist an induction.
Having someone penetrate your body without your consent is not permissible outside of the labour ward. How and why does it suddenly become acceptable when you’re giving birth?
There is an expectation that we a woman should be so grateful to be in labour that her own comfort and bodily autonomy ceases to be a relevant concept. That expectation can absolutely go f**k itself.
Labour is a painful, arduous and deeply sexist biological process. It is not a privilege, and there is nothing wrong with wanting to do it your own way.
For Meghan Markle that may mean having a female doctor and skipping the press junket afterwards. For some women it will mean a home birth, and for others a scheduled c-section.
Please stop laughing at women who express a desire to give birth on their own terms, whatever those terms are.
Labouring women deserve to be treated as whole human beings, not as big sacks of baby making meat. If that makes them birth ‘brats’ then that’s just fine.
MORE: Meghan Markle ‘shuns Queen’s doctors’ to avoid ‘men in suits’ delivering baby
MORE: Meghan Markle ‘won’t pose on the steps after she’s given birth’
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