I don’t understand why I am missing my violent ex who made my life absolute hell

DEAR DEIDRE: IT is strange that I’m writing to you. My life is going great yet­ I don’t understand why I am missing my ex as he made my life hell.

I was with him for 12 years. The first years were fine, and that is when our two daughters were born.

Then he seemed to lose interest in me. He looked at me like I was something he had stepped in and got stuck to his shoe. Then came the insults and slaps.

I stayed for too long but, in the end, I walked out with the children and moved back with my mum.

I am now 32 and have a new man, who is everything most women want. He is 29, loving and generous, really romantic and great with the kids. It has been six lovely months, so why do I feel like I miss the abuse from my ex and the rows and the rush of excitement I got when we made up again?

I don’t want him back but I am feeling confused.

DEIDRE SAYS: Life with your ex may have been hell but it came to be what you expected. You got used to the highs and lows. It’s natural to feel as you do but please do keep moving forwards.

You did right the thing – and can find affirmation through the Freedom Programme (freedom programme.co.uk, 01942 262 270).

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