Mum who was widowed twice before the age of 30 finds new love – and jokes he’d ‘better not die’
A MUM-OF-THREE who was widowed twice before the age of 30 has found love again with her new boyfriend – but has joked he "better not die".
Jessica Haslem-Bantoft, 30, had three sons with her first husband and childhood sweetheart Jason before he sadly passed away aged 24 in August 2014.
The mum-of-three was 11 weeks pregnant with the couple's third son when her husband was electrocuted at work.
Speaking to Fabulous Digital last year, Jessica recalled how Jason would usually call home on late shifts to say goodnight to their sons.
She said: "But that evening we didn’t hear from him, and I knew something was wrong.
“When the doorbell rang at 9pm, I prayed it was Jason. Instead, I opened the door to see two police officers.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BnBL-4dhOb_/
4 years since I hugged you.4 years since I kissed you. 4 years since I heard your voice. 4 years since we last said I love you. But I still love you as though it was yesterday. #widow #husband #death #deadiversary #emptiness
A post shared byJess Haslem-Bantoft (@hasimodo) on
After the officers confirmed her worst fears, Jessica said: "The following week was a blur as I functioned on autopilot.
"At 21 months, George was too young to understand what had happened, but I explained to Toby that Daddy had gone to be a star in the sky."
After giving birth to her third son Barnaby in March 2015, Jessica didn't expect to date again for a long time.
However, the mum unexpectedly found love again with her gardener Tom.
She recalled: "We got on well and after a few weeks he asked me out.
"I didn’t want to be alone forever and he was the first man I’d felt a serious connection with since Jason, so I accepted."
https://www.instagram.com/p/BgR-5A6lfnZ/
‘Golden slumbers fill your eyes Smiles await you when you rise Sleep pretty darling, do not cry And I will sing a lullaby’ Holy shit I am missing a bed time cuddle off him tonight. My heart feels pretty empty.
A post shared byJess Haslem-Bantoft (@hasimodo) on
On their first date, Tom told Jessica that he'd battled lymphoma twice but had been in remission for seven years which meant there was only a 5 per cent chance of the cancer returned.
She added: "We spent six perfect months together. The boys adored Tom, and he was brilliant with them. Then in early January 2017, Tom’s cancer came back."
Although doctors were originally positive that Tom would make a full recovery after stem cell treatment and chemotherapy, his heath quickly began to deteriorate in December 2017.
It was at this point that Tom was diagnosed with graft-versus-host disease (GVHD) which is when transplant cells – which were supposed to save Tom's life – react against the recipient.
The couple were told Tom had just days to live – and in their determination to make the most of every last moment they had left together, Jessica and Tom married in hospital just five hours later.
In his last days, Jessica sat by her husband's hospital bed and held his hand as he passed away in January 2018.
And now Jessica has revealed she has found love again with a "rather handsome" drummer called Steven in a heartfelt Facebook post on her To Widowhood and Beyond page.
Admitting that "life has thrown a curve ball", Jessica wrote: "I can't say I was looking for the relationship.
"In fact, our first conversation was along the lines of us both saying we didn't really have time for anything serious but we could 'see where it went'."
Although the mum-of-three believed the new relationship wouldn't be anything more than "a bit of a fling", she was delighted to have met someone who makes her "soul happy".
Listing the reasons she's fallen for the 37-year-old, she continued: "They make you laugh so much that you nearly hyperventilate.
"They seem to have a personality that goes much deeper than what you see. They aren't terrified of the curse… that's usually a deal-breaker."
She added: "My scared and fragile heart is, somehow, open to the possibility of being whole again.
"Widowed twice, broken into millions of pieces, but still big enough to love again."
Describing how being in a relationship still makes her anxious and fills her with fear, Jessica said: "A fear that I think is worth it.
She concluded: "So I would like to formally introduce to you, Steve. 37. Drummer. Hot. Has a nice beard. Better not die. Third time lucky?"
Since Jessica announced the new relationship on social media earlier this week, her emotional post has racked up over 1,300 "likes".
One supportive user wrote: "I'm so happy you've found happiness… long may it last because it anyone deserves it it's you and those beautiful boys."
Another added: "I can't think of someone who deserves a third time lucky – life long happiness with a soul mate!"
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